July 09, 2008

Cake and Ice Cream for ALL!

What do Fred Savage, Courtney Love, Kelly McGillis, Tom Hanks, Jimmy Smits, John Tesh, O.J. Simpson, Brian Dennehy, Donald Rumsfeld and I all have in common? (I mean, aside from our almost fanatical devotion to the Pope and nice red uniforms?) That's right, it's our birthday! YAY! So all of you are welcome to grab a big bowl of ice cream and a nice slice of cake (just be careful when O.J. is cutting his) and join us for a big celebration!

Other interesting things that happened today:

1540--England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled. She got to keep the vacation house, the Mercedes, and her head.

1776--The Declaration of Independence was read aloud to Gen. George Washington's troops in New York. Afterwards they all went to see Mamma Mia at the Winter Garden Theater, and pronounced it "really FABULOUS!"

1816--Argentina declared independence from Spain. Spain was like, all, "yeah, whatEVer."

1850--Zachary Taylor, the 12th president of the United States, died in Washington, D.C., after serving only 16 months in office. Conspiracy theorists speculated an evil genius named Karl R. Ove who arrived from the future in a time machine was responsible for his death.

1896--William Jennings Bryan caused a sensation at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago with his "cross of gold" speech denouncing supporters of the gold standard. There were reports of mass harrumphing, and no small amount of men in bowler hats clamoring in the streets.

1947--The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced. The lovesick couple exchanged a restrained, yet heartfelt handshake and thenceforth were often photographed standing not far from each other.

1962--Terry Oglesby, inventor of the Cornatee (cornbread-battered and deep fried manatee on a stick), born in Birmingham, Alabama.

1992--Democratic presidential candidate Bill Clinton tapped Sen. Al Gore of Tennessee to be his running mate. Make up your own quip for this one--there are so many possibilities I can't choose one.

1995--The Grateful Dead played their last concert, at Soldier Field in Chicago. There are reports of mass mellow harshage, and no small amount of dudes being all bummed out.

1997--Boxer Mike Tyson was banned from the ring and fined $3 million for biting opponent Evander Holyfield's ear. George Foreman attempts to capitalize on the phenomenon with his Tender Ear Grill, with less than satisfactory results.

2000--Pete Sampras won his seventh Wimbledon singles title, tying the record for men at the All England Club. "Who cares," right? Right.

2001--A court in Chile ruled that Gen. Augusto Pinochet could not be tried on human rights charges because of his deteriorating physical and mental health. Reached for comment, Satan said, "Awww, how pitiful. I'll make sure when he gets here to have a nice quiet room for him with pretty flowers and a comfy bed."

2007--Sen. David Vitter, R-La., whose telephone number was disclosed by the so-called "D.C. Madam," accused of running a prostitution ring, said in a statement he was sorry for a "serious sin" and that he had already made peace with his wife. Wives of every other guy in America warn their husbands they'd best not think they can get away with anything like this without winding up seriously deceased.

2008--American press continues to report everything seemingly is spinning out of control. But you know, who believes anything you read in the paper, so I decide not to worry about anything and have a happy birthday.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at July 9, 2008 09:36 AM

Happy Birthday Terry,

Best Wishes

Sine Nomine

Posted by: Sine Nomine at July 9, 2008 10:39 AM

Happy Birthday, you non-blogging blogger.

Posted by: megabeth at July 9, 2008 11:09 AM

Awww-thanks kids! You both get an extra scoop of ice cream, and a corner piece of cake.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 9, 2008 11:47 AM

Terry, happy birthday to you, and I hope you have many more years, each of them filled with joy.

Posted by: Stan at July 9, 2008 11:49 AM

Many happy returns!

What the heck does that mean, anyway? Returns of gifts for cold, hard cash? Hopefully not returns of the cake and icecream. Nor of the ponies' leavings.

No matter - have a happy one anyway!

Posted by: Diane at July 9, 2008 12:17 PM

Thank you, Stan--I'm wishing for the same thing! And Diane, I'm not sure what it means, but I do like the idea of cold hard cash, no matter what.

Pony leavings? Not so much. Which is why I decided to tell the pony-ride guy not to show up this year. Sorry, everyone. But I did get the good paper plates this time!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 9, 2008 12:28 PM

Happy, happy birthday!

Posted by: Jordana at July 9, 2008 01:59 PM

Thank you, ma'am!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 9, 2008 02:57 PM

Well, rats! It won't post.

Go here.

Posted by: Janis Gore at July 9, 2008 03:24 PM

Wow--a YouTube birthday song, with SPECIAL SOUND EFFECTS! I am quite honored.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 9, 2008 03:41 PM

Something appropriate for a boy.

Posted by: Janis Gore at July 9, 2008 04:30 PM

For a boy with a deep and abiding love of music.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 9, 2008 04:34 PM

Happy Birthday Terry!

I must say Janis found you a very special video. I know my boys love it, that and the miniature whoopee cushions we bought as birthday favors for our eldest.

There is nothing like the special bond between a boy and his whoopee cushion.

Posted by: Sarah G. at July 9, 2008 11:42 PM

Indeed so, Miss Sarah. A lot of the world's problems could be solved if only there were more whoopee cushions.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 10, 2008 08:00 AM

Ehh? Terry had Birthyday? Well send a email to Chet informing Terry he's due over at the Possumville Draftboard for induction in to the Militia.

What's his rank? Well after changing tires he is very rank so I guess Weevil 1st class.

Posted by: Chef Tony at July 11, 2008 02:41 PM

I'm ready, as long as it doesn't require any marching or stuff.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 11, 2008 03:06 PM