December 20, 2006
WELCOME TO THE NEW, IMPROVED POSSUMBLOG!!
We thank all of you for your kind responses and suggestions, and want to let you know that we've taken your offerings and have endeavored to make Possumblog the absolute finest weblog in existence.
First: Free ice cream!
Yes, not just frozen Kool Aid cubes with toothpick sticks, but real, LIVE ice cream! Just go to your local grocery store and pick up any brand, any flavor, or any size ice cream you want. It's YOURS, free of charge!*
Second: NEW FEATURES! A commentor by the name of Skillzy said we needed to expand Possumblog with things such as Possumblog Sports, Celebrities, Cooking, &c., and so from now on, anytime you see any show on television or the Internets about Sports, Celebrities, Cooking, &c., know that it is actually being written and produced here at Possumblog Studios. Oh, sure, we might not get a credit or money for it, but it's true. And we do it for you, Valued Reader.
Third: Jug Band Discussion! Hey, it's what all the youngsters are clamoring for! So, for the finest in Jug Bands and Jug Band chatter and Jug Band merchandise, we will provide for you--FREE OF CHARGE!!--this link to the Jug Band Music Society! We are more than happy to bring you this sort of fine entertainment.
Fourth: Offering Encouragement to New Bloggers! I have been reliably informed by a real university professor that this is one of the many things that will send me to Hell, and being that it's the most easily disposed of, let me say RIGHT NOW--DO NOT START YOUR OWN BLOG!
Haven't you dimbulbs heard that they're "written by fools to be read by imbeciles"!? You Cheeto-besmutted goobers with your mindless chatter about truthiness and poor John F. Kerry and Hillary's giant cankles--YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF LOSERS! How dare you even THINK you could come up to the level of someone or something who (or which) "has over centuries accumulated a major institutional culture that screens editorially for originality, expertise and seriousness[.]" Filthy peasant.
There now! I get to go to the Nice Place!
Fifth: (Reserved)
Sixth: Redneckedness! Having long been a proponent of the clothing optional lifestyle, I will henceforth post a daily** photo of myself sans clothing!
Here's the first one!
Seventh: Curtains! The guy from JC Penney's is on the way right now with some new burgundy velvet things with great big flowers all over them. I'm going to put them right over here, and then have some out of plain velvet over on this side. I might get a new curtain rod, too! EXCITING!
We hope you enjoy all of these new changes and features and again express our gratitude for your kind patronage.
*Void where prohibited by law.
**"Daily" shall not be construed literally, and in fact could be used by the author to indicate a one-time occurence of said action.
Posted by Terry Oglesby at December 20, 2006 01:15 PMHere's a perfect rod.
Or the "bling" rod might be better if you can't find a match in that one.
Posted by: Janis Gore at December 20, 2006 02:15 PMYou have an excellent eye for something that suits my sense of style!
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at December 20, 2006 02:22 PMI have to say I was surprised somewhat by that article/essay you linked to in the Wall Street Journal. I'd figured the Journal "got it" about blogs as well as any MSM publication, and that piece sounded like something I would have expected from the New York Times or CBS News. Heck, I initially wondered if Dan Rather had ghost-written that thing, still being mad at Little Green Footballs or Powerline.
Posted by: Stan at December 20, 2006 02:35 PMI have to believe that that there will be a follow-up in which he says, "GOTCHA! Just funning ya! ROFLMA! U guyz RAWK!" I mean, no one can really be that clueless about a subject--that pompous and self-righteous--right?
Right?
Anyone?
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at December 20, 2006 02:40 PMAnd he's not much of a writer.
"self endeared" !?
Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) at December 20, 2006 02:51 PMBest post ever, LOL :-]
Careful where you swing that rod - you could take someone's eye out!
Could we consider the picture a first annual photo (needs more scary-teeth-with-lips-curled-back posin')?
Posted by: Marc V at December 20, 2006 02:59 PMWell, you know what they way, "spare the rod, spoil the decor."
As for my naked photos, we'll just have to see what each new day brings...
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at December 20, 2006 03:09 PMShows what he knows. Cheetos are trayf.
The nice part of being a mental patient is you always have someone to rant to. The bad part is when they decide it's actually publishable and show your mindspoor to the general public.
Posted by: skinnydan at December 21, 2006 10:39 AMExactly! I think...
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at December 21, 2006 10:55 AM