Okay, let's say you're one of the largest camping equipment manufacturers in the world headquartered in Wichita, Kansas. (To preserve your anonymity, let's make up a name for you. Uhmmmm, how about something like Coldman. Yes, that's good.)
Anyway, let's say you also have a Canadian subsidiary (we'll call it Coldman-Canada), because you found out that people who live in cold places and talk funny like having camping equipment, too. You, being forward-looking, have embraced the Internet with a fierce devotion, so much so that you set up entirely different websites for your US and your Canadian companies. They even have two entirely different customer service telephone numbers, and two entirely different web-based customer service request forms! Neat, huh?
Well, except for one thing--this little charade of independence breaks down when someone actually TRIES TO USE the Canadian customer service system. Why? Well, it turns out there's only ONE customer service switchboard, and only ONE online customer service e-mail intake.
How do I know this?
Well, since Boy is now into camping, and since it's obvious we're going to need things to cook on, and since I don't particularly enjoy building fires, and since it's much easier to cook when you have an actual camp stove, and since camp stoves and such like can be expensive when purchased in a real store, I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF to explore the wonders of eBay to see what I could find.
Not being one to disdain old used things, I was not the least bit put off when I found a really nifty boxed set of propane powered "Coldman" appliances--a big two-burner stove, a lantern, and a heater--all for sale, and despite being at least 20 years old, more or less brand new in the box. Anyway, even if it was Canuckian in origin and old, it was fine by me--again, as long as it's more or less new, I don't really care how "old" it is. So, I bid on it and won it, and it arrived from the magical land of Prince Edward Island like some sort of time capsule. The stove may have been used three or four times, and cleaned after each use. Same for the lamp. The heater didn't even look used.
Everything is all there, although annoyingly enough, not the manuals. Well, no big whoop, right? RIGHT!
I went to the Canadian website, filled in all the information (except for "province," which is what they call states so they can act like they're different from us) and asked if they had a .pdf of the manuals they could send me.
Waited.
Finally got a reply back from customer service.
"The items are Canadian product so you might want to contact them for manuals for the items. Here is their website http://www.colemancanada.ca/?en."
Oops--sorry about that slip! Remember, it's COLDman we're talking about.
Well, okay--so the computer thing is the same for both divisions, and apparently NO ONE in the company realizes this!
I wrote back to the drone who e-mailed me, "Well, I DID go to their website and used the Customer Service page there. I suppose I should try their telephone number."
Off to their website again, got the "Canadian" number, and as I have already hinted at, when I started giving model numbers and such, the operator halted me and said she was in the US and that the model numbers I was giving her were Canadian models, and I needed to call the CANADIAN customer service line.
::blink::blink::
Okay, so NO ONE IN THE ENTIRE COMPANY realizes that there is only ONE CUSTOMER SERVICE PLACE!?!
Anyway, there's other places online to get this stuff, but it was awfully frustrating to go through all these motions expecting to talk to people who say "a" after every sentence, and then wind up back where I started, and apparently with a better understanding of how the place works than even the people answering the customer service lines!
Makes you wonder how they ever managed to corner the market on potentially explosive heating devices.
Oh, and by the way, "Debbie" wrote me back this morning in reply to my suggestion of using the Canadian telephone number, "Yes, you might want to go ahead and call the 1-800-387-6161 Canadian Consumer Line and anyone that answers can help you out."
Yes, they were just as helpful as Debbie.
Anyway, here are my tips:
1) If you only have one customer service center, don't act like you have two.
2) Let the people answering the phone know that you only have one service center.
Posted by Terry Oglesby at November 16, 2006 11:29 AMI know they have this page for PDF manuals--
http://www.colemancanada.ca/?en/manuals/default.htm
but if the equipment you purchased from P.E.I. is twenty years old I guess those PDFs probably don't do you much good.
There are two reasons I can see as to why Coleman might at least in theory have separate Canadian and USA sites: 1) the Canadian site probably has to have some French content, and 2) it may simplify legal requirements for Canadian content, as well as shipping within Canada. But you probably already know all that.
Posted by: Stan at November 16, 2006 12:36 PMYep--none of those are the manuals I needed, and I did look and look. I understand having two separate websites, but not pretending to have two customer service sites. If there's just one, there's no use trying to hide that--just call it Coldman Global Service and be done with it.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 16, 2006 01:59 PMBe leery of using the heater in an enclosed area... I had a cousin and one of his hunting buddies die about 20 years ago from a leaky propane stove in a camper.
Posted by: Dave Helton at November 16, 2006 04:25 PMOooh, sorry to hear about that, Dave.
But yes, I understand the potential hazards and intend to use it only in the tent, and then only if it ever gets really cold.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 16, 2006 04:36 PMColdman Canada and Coldman US most likely have their customer service representatives sitting in someplace less familiar with outdoor, woodsy camping - like Bombay, or whatever they're calling it these days.
Which means "Debbie" is more likely "Sririvanapaneth," and she can't help you anyway, silly American.
Posted by: skinnydan at November 16, 2006 06:43 PMIs Bombay anywhere close to Wichita?
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 17, 2006 03:48 PMJust turn left past Highway 9 - you can't miss it.
Posted by: skinnydan at November 20, 2006 07:55 AM