Possumblog

Girls.

Eeeeevil.

That's all there is to it.

They got their feminine wiles a'working all the live-long day, and dangitall, they start YOUNG.

We sat down to supper last night and Rebecca (who is a girl, but not quite as evil as she could be--yet) was recounting her trip to the doctor's office and the things we did while we waited to be called back.

One of the more comical things we observed was a mom (a girlish woman who probably used her feminine wiles to get her husband) who came in with her two young daughters (cute, and working up to evil quickly with their cuteness) and sat down at one of the small tables with a nice plastic box of crayons and paper. She set them to work coloring pictures and even worked on one herself, and it was fun to watch them having a nice quiet time as they waited.

And then, from the seats along the wall a raggledy little girl jumped up and came and stood there beside the table, and beside her was an even smaller raggledy girl. They just stood there, transfixed, as if they'd never seen anyone use a crayon before. The mom asked sweetly if they'd like to sit down and color and they did so with great enthusiasm.

Until they got called back.

They wouldn't leave, even after Dad, with his crimson Alabama hat and crimson Alabama sweatshirt basically had to pry them out of the chairs, and then only after promising one girl she could take the paper with her.

It was all pretty comical, and Rebecca thought it was funny that the little girls who didn't belong to the mom acted like crayons were such a big deal. OF COURSE, being an Auburn fan, I had to make some crack about the fact that since the kid's daddy was a 'Bama fan that he probably hogged all the crayons for himself, since we all know how childish and stoopid and stuff them guys is.

So, after a bit more refreshing denigration and stereotyping, I thought the matter done, when suddenly, Boy looked at me and with a look of utter dismay said, "Daaad, just because someone is for Alabama DOESN'T mean they aren't intelligent."

What the!?

WHAT!?

I was speechless (momentarily)--I mean, I can stand many insults, but to have my OWN CHILD, my own SON, speak such HERESY to ME at my OWN DINNER TABLE!! WHY, the mind REELS at such perfidy! At such insouciance! AT SUCH--

Wait a minute...

"Son, who is she?"

"WHAT!?"

Uh-huh. MMM-HMM! Ahhhhh--HAH!!

"Oh, you can't hide that--there's some girl out there you like and she roots for Alabama!!"

"I don't know WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!"

Reba (who is as evil as they come, what with her feminine wiles that are plain for the whole world to see)--even SHE knew what had overcome her baby boy.

The shy grin, the reddened cheeks, the mild protestations of ignorance, the REFUSAL TO CONFIRM OR DENY! It was so obvious--so blatant that he had been smitten by some comely young lass in Crimson and White. I've heard tell of such things and the destruction wrought upon families by such pernicious mixing of allegiences, but never did I think it would happen under my own roof!

I am bereft that he has fallen victim to this most disheartening of attractions--why couldn't she be a Vanderbilt fan? Kentucky? Mississippi State?

WHHHHHYYYYYY?!

Anyway, I'm willing to set that aside if her daddy owns a sporting goods store or a car repair place.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at November 7, 2006 11:37 AM