October 21, 2008


I which I rejoice at having my nomination selected for today's Ball of the Day!

My thanks to the editorial staff of Bolus, and to Modern Mechanix, from which the item was shamelessly stolen.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at 12:58 PM | Comments (6)

October 14, 2008

Well, let's just say I require a pretty substantial level of proof.

But you know, if I was an intergalactic star traveling type dude, I know I would like nothing better than to make a layover over Alabama. But I don't recommend stopping at the rest area north of Montgomery. I'll just leave it at that.

Best response? From one Leada Gore, publisher of the Hartselle Enquirer and contributor to The Clanton Advertiser, who took some flak for her earlier story regarding our putative visitation:

[...] ďItís backwoods hillbillies like you that make the possibility of an event like this even more unbelievable.Ē

Ouch. Backwoods hillbilly? Me? Do you mean to tell me if I donít believe the words of some Australian psychic who gets her advice from an Indian who just happens to share the name of a popular toilet paper brand then Iím a hillbilly?

Well, yee-haw I guess. [...]

As a very wise alien once said, "Heh. Indeed."

Posted by Terry Oglesby at 08:28 AM | Comments (5)

October 13, 2008

Well, no...

...the intent is not to become All Bugs, All the Time, but what can I do!?

This weekend, Rebecca came running in the house asking in near-terror what sort of bug is huge and has wings and is ugly and is big. And huge. And HUGE. And ugly.

"Does it look like a big cigar butt?"

Not being a cigar aficionado nor a keeper of company with those of that ilk, the best she could muster was "I dunno. BUT IT'S HUGE! And PATCHES IS EATING IT!!"

I told her it sounded like he'd gotten a cicada (and no, I didn't wet my pants at the mere thought of it) and followed her outside to go look.

Sure enough, he'd found a big ugly buzzy play toy, rich in natural bug proteins and evil. According to Middle Girl, he was romping in the yard, then suddenly ran over to one of the trees and started snapping and pawing and chewing and rolling and tossing the thing up in the air.

Let me tell you--these things are apparently indestructable. Even after several minutes of abuse at his paws and jaws, the thing was still kicking. That's saying something, considering this dog could eat a wrecking ball.

Anyway, Rebecca took his toy away and hid it under something in the garden, and I was once again reminded of just how much I can't stand large ugly bugs.

I am heartened, however, that Patches will viciously protect me from them. It's almost enough to forgive him waking me up in the middle of the night last night with his infernal barking.

In other news, it's now been over a week since we had the kids from church over, and the downstairs of the house is STILL clean!

Second, Rebecca has now driven herself to work TWICE. All the way down to the foot of the hill. Without incident. That I know of.

Third, the upcoming election (or as I like to call it, "BOHICA--Carter's Revenge") got me to thinking the other day about what good things I remember from the years 1977-1981.

Eh. It was okay. Really. I know everyone likes to dump on the late 1970s, but aside from the awful clothes and awful hair and awful television shows and awful cars and general level of awfulness, it was survivable. I mean, I lived in a house, both my parents had more or less stable, moderately well-paid jobs, I went to school, ate three meals a day, had clothes to wear (and yes, I had several REALLY cool Quiana shirts, and a brown leisure suit, and a pair of patent-leather platform wingtips that were navy and burgundy, and I had many pairs of tight cutoff blue jean shorts that were entirely too short that I would cut grass in), had a car to drive around in (triple-black '72 Monte Carlo) and despite all the national and world turmoil, I don't recall being miserable and mopey and full of fear and dread and junk like that. Of course, that's filtered through 32 years of trying to forget everything bad that happened, and not having to live through it with the responsibilities of adulthood.

Things might have seemed a bit more awful in that case.

At least this time around, we've got really cool computers, and cars work darned well, and there are more than three television stations, and they all broadcast in digital, and there is some distinction in clothing worn by office workers and that worn by circus clowns.

So hey, how bad could the next four years be!?

OH! Something I forgot yesterday--one of our local Presbyterian churches has noted on their sign that they're having a Taize service this week. Being an unsophisticated backwoods rube, I had no idea what that was, and so every time I've seen the sign for the past few days, the only thing that pops into my mind is "DON'T TAIZE ME, BRO!" That's probably not very nice.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at 05:04 PM | Comments (4)