As noted many weeks ago, America's Most Popular Party Game, the Thursday Three Question Show, is on vacation for the summer. At least, we hope so. It could actually have wandered off and gotten lost. You know how it is. ANYway, in its absence, we have been previewing some of the exciting new shows that YOU will be able to watch on the upcoming fall season of PossumblogTV!
As has already been disclosed, showing video previews is somewhat of a technical difficulty, in that we have no video production capabilities. As with our previous previews, then, we must rely upon reproducing herein the show scripts, and rely on YOU, the viewer/reader to use YOUR active imaginations and fill in all the minor details such as people and things moving around!
SO, without delay, our FOURTH NEW EXCITING PILOT PREVIEW--ASCII Kitty Drawings, Hosted by Bill Gates!
BILL: Thank you, everyone! Let's look at some kitties, shall we? (applause) Our first guest is Jon Prengle of Redmond, Washington. Jon's 42 and a software security code writer. He loves cats, AND he loves ASCII cats! Jon? (applause)
JON: Hi, Bill!
BILL: Call me Mr. Gates. (laughter)
JON: Okay.
BILL: Okay, Jon, let's see what you have for us today!
JON: Okay.
(BILL types on keyboard at host's desk, and image appears on large LCD flat panel plasma screen)
>^.^<
BILL: Ohh, that's SUPER! (applause)
BILL: Let's see--it has a right arrow, or "greater than" mark, a caret mark, a period, another caret mark, and a left arrow, or "less than" mark--Jon, let me say that is just SUPERB artistry. I mean, it's very, very abstract, yet still I know it represents a cat. What inspired you?
JON: I don't really know.
BILL: Amazing. (applause) And now a word from our sponsor, and when we return, Kathy Lee Gifford with her son, Cody! (applause)
(commercial)
I know YOU are looking forward to this exciting new show just as much as we are! And to FURTHER whet your appetite for the type of season that lies ahead, a BONUS SNEAK PREVIEW OF--Alan Thicke's Celebrity Smell THIS!
We pick up in the middle of the exciting LIGHTNING ROUND, as Rosie O'Donnell and Jenna Jameson attempt to figure out the mystery smell...
ROSIE: ASPARAGUS! It's asparagus! Beets? No, ASPARAGUS!
JENNA: Carrots?
ROSIE: NAH! I'm telling you, it's GREEN BEANS!
ALAN: Seven seconds, ladies...
ROSIE: DON'T RUSH ME! LIMA BEANS!
JENNA: Carrots? Is it salsa? With basil?
ROSIE: YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL BASIL! IT'S
(Buzzer)
ALAN: Oh, sorry, ladies--it was methyl tertiary-butyl ether, or MTBE, a gasoline additive.
I'm telling you--with a lineup like this, PossumblogTV can go nowhere but UP! Stay tuned next week for more entertaining and EXCITING show previews!
Posted by Terry Oglesby at July 20, 2006 09:50 AMYou know, it may be a good thing PossumblogTV does NOT have video production capabilities.
Posted by: Stan at July 20, 2006 11:31 AMI keep hearing that, for some reason.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 20, 2006 11:49 AMTo tune in, or not tune in, that is the question.
Whether 'tis wiser to skip the hurl-inducing travesty of womanhood that is Rosie O'Donnell,
Or stay to view the bountiful, heaving, and non-biodegradable bosoms of the adult performer.
To view, perchance to snack. And by snacking, to thus get fat(ter), and fall asleep, whilst the purveyors of insect extermination and automotive insurance, verily, do dance on the exteriors of my eyelids.
Posted by: skinnydan at July 20, 2006 12:14 PMYou sure do write real purty.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at July 21, 2006 08:04 AM