Possumblog

State Visitor Day!

In our longstanding tradition of honoring the native lands of those who come to Possumblog, we take note that today is June 15, which just so happens to be the date in 1836 when our salute-worthy state entered the Union.

SO, then, if you happen to hail from the state that flies THIS flag--

--the Editorial Board of Possumblog bids you welcome, and invites you to leave a comment below and tell us a little bit about yourself and your fine state!

I will say that to this point, this feature has had precious little success in getting commenters who actually are from the place being honored to say anything, and I believe I have hit upon an idea that will result in a flood of feisty, proud Arkansasians. I usually try to be nice and give interesting facts about the state in question, but I have an idea I would get a much more intense response if I INSULT the state and its fair citizens instead!

Remember, regular readers, although I appreciate your comments about Arkansas, we really need to see who all from Arkansas actually visits us here at Possumblog.

SO, here are the most INSULTING, HORRIBLE, MEAN-SPIRITED things I could think of about Arkansas.

1. New York Senator Hillary Clinton lived there once, and is rumored to have swapped DNA with a native Arkansan fond of plain, thick-ankled harridans. His name might or might not have been "Bill."

2. The capital of Arkansah is Little Rock, which served as the model for the Town of Bedrock in the Flintstones cartoons.

3. Arkansas got its name from the Quapaw Indian word meaning "Home of Wal-Mart."

4. The Arkansas Razorback football team got beaten by Vanderbilt.

5. Arkansian Glen Campbell was NEVER a lineman for the county.

6. There actually was a person named Orval Faubus. The combination of the two silliest names ever heard catapulted him to the governor's office.

7. A Frenchman, Henri de Tonti, founded the first permanent white settlement. A FRENCHMAN! Now granted, he was born in Italy, and this was back in the 1600s before the French got the reputation for being highly capable surrenderers, but still, he probably spoke all that French jibber-jabber and stuff and ponced about in frilly boots. He did have a hook hand, though, which was cool. And he died in Mobile, Alabama, because he could not stand to be in a land where the football team lost to both Auburn and Alabama in the same season.

8. The highest point in Arkansas is Magazine Mountain at 2,753 feet high, which really isn't all THAT high. Although I suppose it might be impressive since it really is made out of magazines. Ever wonder what happens to magazines that the stores don't sell? They go here and are piled up.

SO THERE! I expect a large outpouring of support for Arkansas now that I have gone and done all that insulting. Remember, leave a comment and say HI!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 15, 2006 11:23 AM