April 13, 2006

Another Late Night

Seems Oldest had a paper due today for her anatomy class. And a brochure describing a dread disease.

I went to bed, only to be awakened at 12:39 a.m. by a whiney person complaining that a part of the paragraph was on the wrong part of the brochure.


"Ugghhhhh! Dad!?"


"UHhhhhgghh! DAD!"

"Mrrljhs? Mphephelplmc."

"::SIGGGGGHHHHHH:: Awoougghhh! DAD!"


I do not react well to be awakened from a sound slumber.

::whines:: "I TRIED to put THIS (pointing at bit of text) on HERE (points in general direction of screen) and it was over HERE (points to the first panel of the second page of the brochure) and now it's back up HERE!" (points to the last panel of the first page)

Resisting the nearly-overwhelming urge to tell her, 'Hey, I thought you knew so much about computers that you didn't need to take any computer classes,' I instructed her to click to the left of the line of text she wanted moved, then I hit the return key three times. Amazing! It moved down to the second page.

Then I went and peed and went back to bed.

I understand that she went to bed around 1:30, probably blaming everyone in the world--other than herself, of course--for making her stay up so late.

Mom and I had a big sturm-und-drang session with her a couple of weeks ago when she was signing up for her classes for next year--I've been trying for three years to get her to take a basic computing class to learn at least a little bit about it. She finally relented and put it down, but not before many tears were shed by her over this indignity--after all, she already KNOWS all she will EVER need to know about computers. And that's a direct quote.

Add to this the incredible hostility she radiates whenever I make a suggestion of how to do something, and doggone it, I just didn't feel like telling her that the photos she printed out of her assigned dread disease could much more easily have been simply inserted into her document, rather than actually cut out with scissors and taped in. Likewise, I figured since she was so up on her computing that she'd know how to get everything printed off. I came downstairs this morning to leave, and she was at the kitchen table busily taping two sheets of paper back-to-back. "Whatcha doing?"


"Mm, well, yeah--the printer only prints on one side." I reckon I'll let her figure out the way to get it to print on the front and back, seeing as how she already knows it all.

I guess I'm a mean daddy for not wanting to engage such behavior on her part in a more constructive manner. My hope is that if she won't listen now, she might at least realize later she might should have. Possibly, she will turn out to be like Mark Twain (or at least the apocryphal version of Twain): 'When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.'

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 13, 2006 10:44 AM

I bet those classes run as slow as molasses, though.

I really miss the Dallas Informart. You could sign up with an instructor for dedicated one-on-one instruction for specific applications.

Half a day of that, and you had the essential knowledge to get on with business.

Posted by: Janis at April 13, 2006 11:04 AM

Possibly slow, but I'm still of the opinion that it's a lot better to take the time and learn the basics--such as touch typing, which she can't do--with the incentive of a grade looming over it.

She's the type who doesn't value learning for the sake of learning. After all, if you know everything, what CAN you learn, really?

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 13, 2006 11:14 AM

Be sure to never tell her about Microsoft since she knows everything. MS probably changed half of what she thinks she knows in their next release. Anyway, I have to be retrained everytime they release a new version.

Posted by: Larry Anderson at April 13, 2006 11:20 AM

She says she already knows that.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 13, 2006 11:24 AM

Thne maybe you could send her by here to teach my folks.

Posted by: Larry Anderson at April 13, 2006 12:35 PM

I guess I should enjoy the fact that my kids still think hubby and I know everything. Well we are starting to lose the oldest, but I can usually bring him around fairly quickly. For some reason having worked in a lab (that is I'm a scientist)has a lot of cachet with them.

Posted by: Sarah G. at April 13, 2006 12:41 PM

Why would I do that to some other family, Larry!?

And as for you, Sarah--maybe you'll be able to avoid it. If necessary, you might just have to start making things up so they'll think you do know everything.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 13, 2006 01:00 PM

Wait until she gets points taken off on her work because it is "sloppy". Some teachers think the students are just being lazy for not bothering to learn...which will lower her GPA, affect her college choice, and she'll NEVER be able to LEAVE HOME to go to college!! ;)

That might cheer her up a bit about those computer classes--or get her a Computers for Dummies book, if you're feeling particularly vengeful.

Posted by: Leah at April 14, 2006 01:05 PM

Oh, no, Leah--it's not sloppy--it's just that the teachers are being unfair and mean and they hate her. It's actually very neat, but they just refuse to see exactly how neat it is.

As for vengence, I figure reality is a pretty stern taskmaster.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 18, 2006 07:04 AM