Luxury skybox high above Jordan-Hare, with an endless buffet?
No.
A fifty-yard-line seat on the home bench side?
No.
In the corner behind a column in the Alabama section?
No.
Oh, wait--at someone's house with a nice big television and cable?
No.
Hmm. At home, with your kids, folding clothes in front of your uncabled television?
No.
On the radio, doing yardwork!?
No.
I will be at the skating rink, tending to Boy, who has been invited to a birthday party by one of his classmates, said party being held from 2 to 4 p.m. DURING THE GAME. Obviously, I should be grateful Jonathan has friends, and that they think enough of him to invite him to a party at the skating rink with all the free food and game tokens such things have. But, obviously this family is from some other planet, where the third Saturday in November is, I don't know, the third Saturday in November or something equally bizarre.
"Well, surely," you might ask, "couldn't Reba take him down to the foot of lovely Talladega Hill to the skating rink, and thus relieve you of having to miss out on this spectacle, as well as keep you from having to endure loud, thumping '70s redneck-rock blasting from the speakers and hordes of hormonal squealing teenagers on foot-wheels?"
Oh, yes, one might think things like that--EXCEPT.
Except there is a Part II to my misery. It seems this is the weekend when Reba, and Ashley, and Rebecca, will be going with a bunch of people from church to a retreat up at Camp Ney-A-Ti in Guntersville. They leave today, and come back Sunday, and Reba will be following along in her car. Meaning A) From the time they leave today until they arrive, I will worry incessantly, B) from the time they leave Sunday until the get home, I will worry incessantly, and C) in between time I will wander around the house and mope.
Reba and I have not spent very much time apart over the course of our fourteen years and three months together, and when we do, I don't really get that wild-eyed, school's-out, cat's-away-mice-will-play, "I'M A BACHELOR!" sort of thing that some guys get, mainly because I remember being a bachelor, which was very boring and mostly spent wishing I had a really hot girlfriend. Now that I've got one, and managed to convince her to marry me, it's not fun when she's not around.
AND DARNED INCONVENIENT, in that I have to go to the skating rink!
OH, and not just go with Boy, but take Catherine with me, too, because she wants to go, and pooched out her bottom lip and acted sad, just in case I said no. As if I could.
So, I'm hoping they have a television around there somewhere that I can catch a glimpse of every now and again. Or, maybe this is some sort of sign, telling me that I've found a good excuse to buy one of those pocket teevees...
Posted by Terry Oglesby at November 18, 2005 01:53 PMSurely you could scrounge up a transistor radio and an earphone...
Posted by: Nate at November 18, 2005 02:16 PMI do have the ol' Sony here in the desk drawer, but I want pictures if I can get 'em. I'm selfish that way.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 18, 2005 02:23 PMIt sounds like Truss Vegas is getting overrun with Yankees or something.
MY wife is leaving me to tend the younguns while she goes to Jordan Hare to watch the game with her mother, so I guess I'll be watching it on the couch. I should have no problem getting a kitchen pass for months to come.
Posted by: skillzy at November 18, 2005 02:38 PMI'm for hire. I don't plan on watching the game.
Posted by: sugarmama at November 18, 2005 02:42 PMHeh--Skillzy, don't count your passes before they're issued.
But yes, I fear our whole state is being overrun with people who cannot appreciate our high culture.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 18, 2005 02:43 PMAnd Sugar, I would take you up on the offer, but it might be difficult to explain to Miss Reba when Jonathan tells her all about this pretty girl Daddy got to stay with him at the skating rink.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 18, 2005 02:48 PMCan you use your vcr(still have 1 right?) to tape
the game & then watch it Saturday after the
remaining children fall asleep? If you don't listen
to the news or radio, you can be surprised while
watching the tape...
Posted by: Sine Nomine at November 18, 2005 02:51 PMGood idea--and yes, we do still have several VCRs--so that becomes my backup plan. As for not hearing or seeing anything, though--well, you don't need the news or radio around here. It's impossible to escape the outcome.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 18, 2005 03:07 PMThanks for saying I'm pretty. You should see my mohawk. haha
Is the game on the radio? I have one of those cheap radio headphone sets, it's almost like you could wear something like that and nobody would notice. You could pretend to have conversations with people while listening to the game.
Posted by: sugarmama at November 18, 2005 03:28 PMWell, you are, mohawk or not. But preferably not.
ANYway, I have a Walkman that will be Primary Plan (B), the Chief Primary Plan being seeing if I can find an inexpensive handheld television at the Walmarts.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 18, 2005 03:36 PMThere are no grandparental units who could be conned into attending the Roller Disco?
Posted by: skinnydan at November 21, 2005 08:34 AM'Fraid not--Reba's parents had stuff to do, and my mom has gone to see my sister in Mobile.
But, it turned out okay.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 21, 2005 08:47 AM