With Pam the Liberal!
And I'd forgotten all about it!
Such a dolt. I was sitting here wondering what I was supposed to do for lunch when she called to see if I'd stood her up. NEVER! So, off down the street, where I met up with her as she slowly shook her head in dismay at my continual, ever-quickening slide into the ol' mental crapper. Easy for HER to say--she never gets any older. I figure I've got about a year before I pass her.
Anyway, she escorted her poor addled lunch companion gently down the street to Roly Poly for a nice sandwich (mmm--smoked salmon!) and a hour-long monologue by yours truly. Topic? Mostly teenaged girls, and not just mine, but those things in general. She has two boys--one graduated from college, the other just starting, and both of them were teenagers for a very long time. When she worked here, I commiserated with her about their trials, so now she has to listen to mine.
She, like me, is in wonderment about how young girls got so sexually aggressive. She wondered if it could be that they have no sense that it's acceptable for them to set borders and boundaries over the use of their bodies. Probably a little of that, but that seems too much as though there's some sort of conspiracy to objectify them against their will.
My take is that we've got the idea of equality turned around so much that whereas we used to laugh off bad behaviors in boys by saying "boys will be boys," instead of insisting that boys bring their moral standards up to what we used to expect from girls (and to stop relying on lame "devil made me do it" excuses), we've now said that it's better to let girls LOWER their standards and be just like a herd of rutting goats.
There's also a strange disconnect going on, where no one seems to understand the concept of consequences. In a perfect world, young ladies might think it would be perfectly acceptable to dress and act any way they want, with no uncomfortable (or deadly) repercussions. In a perfect world, young men would not take advantage of this, and not go any further than what the young lady desires.
Unfortunately, it is not a perfect world. It is not fair. But it's a sucker bet to think you can rely on crying "it's not fair" after the fact, and make it all right again. This is not to blame victims. This doesn't excuse wrongdoing by saying, "well, she had it coming." It doesn't work that way. But I think we need to understand that laws don't always deter harm, and parents especially need to understand that. Just because traffic is supposed to stop when pedestrians are in crosswalks, doesn't mean that no pedestrians are ever hit by cars.
If you really love your kids, be their parent, and don't worry too much about trying to be their buddy. Watch what your kids do. Watch who they hang out with. Teach them right from wrong. Teach them about consequences.
And teach them to tolerate liberals*, because they can make nice lunch companions.
(*Or, at least the old-timey liberals, who still believe in such antiquated concepts as right and wrong.)
Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 21, 2005 02:10 PM