May 20, 2005

OOoooh--bad mojo!

Russellville mother charged with threatening child's teacher

The Associated Press

The mother of an elementary school student was jailed and may be deported as an illegal alien after being accused of threatening her daughter's teacher.

Police Chief Chris Hargett said Aurora Mercedes Soto, 43, of Russellville, has been charged with making a terrorist threat and second-degree assault. He said she commented that she was going to "hire a witch to put a spell on her and if that didn't take care of her, she was going to take care of her herself."

Officers went to Soto's residence to arrest her and at that time she said something to her 9-year-old daughter in Spanish, and the child attacked the officer, Hargett said. [...]

I just hope they don't use the spell-casting as part of the charge against this loon.

More importantly, though, if you believe in spells enough to go pay good money to hire a witch, don't you think you should have enough belief in what you paid for to not feel the need for a backup plan? I realize it's probably hard to get good spell-casting witches nowadays, but surely a little good word-of-mouth would lead you to someone with some kind of written guarantee and nationwide warranty.

I'm just saying.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at May 20, 2005 12:33 PM

Maybe Possum Industries could start a witch referral service. I can't remember if the Church of Christ has a prohibition on such a thing but if it does, you could always blame it on the influence of the Jews and Presbyterians in the AoW.

Posted by: Larry Anderson at May 20, 2005 01:45 PM

Well, I'd be willing to start one, but in fairness (and to keep the objections down) I think I would also need to offer a service to eradicate witches. Sorta like the phone company, who sells you stuff to block telemarketers, and sells telemarketers stuff to unblock call-blocking.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 20, 2005 02:01 PM

Did it say what the teacher was wearing?

Posted by: jim at May 20, 2005 02:43 PM

So it should be the which witch should you use to bewitch that witch service. And the dewitch the witch devision.

Posted by: Sarah G. at May 20, 2005 03:12 PM

"So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?"

"And what also floats in water?"

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 20, 2005 04:04 PM

A duck!

Weigh her, weigh her!

Of course we the big question is did she turn you into a newt and did you get better?

Posted by: Sarah G. at May 20, 2005 09:34 PM