Possumblog

UPWARD!

Grabbed the new box spring and edged toward the stairs. Up, up, WHOA!

Plastic is very slick.

I think the protective sacks on these things must have Teflon in them. Up to the first landing, turrrrrrn, move, turn, twist, then up to the hall landing. YEA FOR ME! Into the room, took out my trusty pocketknive and sliced off the hateful plastic anddd...

Hmm.

I wonder again if I should put those three flimsy crossboards back in.

Nah.

Grabbed the foundation and after knocking off various bits of ephemera and effluvia from Reba's nightstand, it snugged down into the wood framerails just perfect! Ahhhhhh.

Back on with the bed skirt, and then downstairs for the final prize.

I grabbed up big fat Juliet and directed her towards the stairs. HUUUMMMMMMPH! ERRRRRRPHFFF. Whew. She's a spirited Veronese signorina alright! First landing--umph, push, twist, umph, move, ouch my finger, FLOP, then up again to the hall landing. Turn, into the bedroom, gently remove her delicate see-through cover, and then proceed to try and get the fool thing onto the top of the box spring. Oops. Probably didn't need that lamp. Or my clock. Or that stack of receipts that I just knocked off.

BUT! There is it! FINALLY! IN all of its incredibly thick glory! My--it sure it BIG. And thick. I'm not a tall man, but only because I have tiny short stumpy legs. And this thing comes up to above my waist. That's tall. I think I'm going to have to have a ladder. Or maybe a rope swing, which you have to admit would be pretty cool.

No matter--it's new and pretty and comfortable and it's nice to have after so many years of Mr. Mushy.

Now then, the matter of sheets. The set we had just put on the other mattress was just a slight bit bigger than necessary--on the old mattress--so I figured they wouldn't work at all on this new one. Sure enough, it needed another four inches or so to have actually wrapped around the bottom edge. Well, I had figured on a new set of sheets to christen it anyway and to make it all special-looking for when Reba got home from class, so the next step was to go see to that.

AFTER a trip to the oil change place.

I figured since I had some free time, and since I'm preparing to bid the Plymouth a warm farewell, that it would be good to go ahead and recharge the air conditioning. It's probably an unnecessary extravagance, but I will be driving it around with a For Sale sign on it, and I would like to comfortable and cool this summer until is does get sold.

SO, down to Express Oil, where they also do air conditioning. Sorta. The guys who work on this side always seem very hesitant and unsure of what they're doing. I liken it to when the kid at the grocery store can't make change in his head when you give him a $10 bill for something that cost $6.93, and he has to rely on continually looking at the cash register or he can't figure it out. The A/C guys have a machine they hook to the system, and while they can read the dials, I'm not convinced they really understand the refrigerant cycle.

I don't suppose it's absolutely required, but it would be nice.

Anyway, waited there for 40 minutes while the system was recharged. Went over to Winn Dixie and got a Diet Coke and a snack. Read Home Handyman magazine. Stared at a lovely Monet print hanging on the wall.

Finally he got through, and after wading through some kind of worker misunderstanding, in which the guy who did it refused to write the ticket and instead asked some kid from the oil change side to do it, I was on my way in icy cold comfort. Which I had to stop, because it was already cold outside.

Next, I figured I'd see about getting the carpets cleaned in it. They are pretty nasty, the result of ten hard years and four nasty children. Down to the car wash place, where there were a bunch of rowdy guys hanging around waiting for the shop to close so they could go home (it now being nearly 5 o'clock). Made an appointment to come back Saturday, but I'm going to cancel it because it's supposed to rain.

Now then, sheets! Oh, and I needed gas. And at some point in here I have to go back and get the bedframe and take it to the in-laws, and have to go back and get the Honda and pick up the kids, who'd stayed with Grandma all day because school was out yesterday. Whew.

Off to K-Mart. Found some nice eggshell-colored sheets that match the comforter and which I was assured by the nice lady in the store would fit over a ridiculously tall mattress. They were, after all, Martha Stewart sheets. Lah-dee-dah.

On up the hill to Sam's, where I passed by a horrible-looking accident at the exit from the shopping center--a late model Cougar flipped over onto its roof and resting in the landscaped median of the exit drive. Wow. All sorts of ambulances and fire trucks and police.

On up and gassed up, then back down the hill, stopped at the library to check my email (no time to wait for the dial-up at the house) and then back to the house.

Upstairs to get the unneeded trundle bed frame, down the stairs, out the door, into the van. HOORAY! Off to the inlaw's, let Grandmama do her deal with the broom to get the dust off, into the den, under the daybed with it. Done. Finally.

Told the kids to wait a bit while I went and got the other van, did that, then got them home and told them to start getting ready for school tomorrow (today). Nearly SEVEN O'CLOCK. Good grief, where does the time go?!

While they started that, I started supper and ran upstairs to dress the bed. Broke open the fitted sheet annnnnd. Hmm. It went to the bottom edge of the mattress and rolled under about an eighth of an inch. ::sigh:: Good enough.

Top sheet, comforter, pillows, folded up the stuff I'd just taken off the other mattress, and DONE! Very pretty. And tall.

Supper, baths, and then the arrival of Miss Reba! Yay!

I led her upstairs and presented her present--"Wow. It's tall!"

Yes, I know.

We finally got the kids into bed and it was time to finally test it out. Ahhhh. Nice. I had sprawled onto it the way I normally do, with a magazine to read and the television news on, and Reba clambered up with me and then decided to go get her shower. SPRONGTHUMP!

"WHAT WAS THAT!?"

I didn't know--a funny odd noise with a bit of a shift in the bed. "Hmm. I guess it was just the box spring seating itself down onto the frame rails. I guess it wasn't all the way down."

She went on and gathered her stuff and went in the bathroom and I kept reading and SPRONGTHUMPCRASH--SLUMP! Oh crap.

I got off the bed and saw that the box spring had managed to work itself off the narrow ledge on the frame rails and FALL THROUGH! GRR!

I got under the bed and tried mightily to push it back up. No go. The frame of the box spring wouldn't go past the ledge. GRR GRR GRR!

So, yes. Those boards I'd so cavalierly disregarded earlier? I needed them. And in order to fix everything, I was going to have to take off the pillows, and the comforter, and the top sheet, AND THE MATTRESS and the BOX SPRING and put them back in place.

::sigh::grr::

All that work. All that careful effort that left no mark on any wall. And now this. So, I went back downstairs and got the boards, came back up and took everything apart, put the boards back in place, dropped the foundation back down, slud the mattress back on, and remade the bed.

Yes, it sleeps just fine.

I woke up with no aches or pains or anything else except a rather long story to post. And more importantly, Reba woke up without any pains, which is really the point of this whole exercise.

Now then--time to Be A Moron!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 26, 2005 12:16 PM