Possumblog

First things first, you know.

Okay, so I've got a bed in, and on, the van, and I also have another one upstairs in the bedroom. Obviously, the logistics of this will require some thought.

So, I went to the reading room with a magazine for a while.

That done, the plan had formed in my mind. Strip the bedding, take the mattress downstairs, take the foundation downstairs, and FINALLY get out the little twin-size trundle bed frame we had stored under our bed back when we first moved. Then, I would unstrap the box springs, take them inside, pull the mattress out and take it in, then take the springs upstairs, then the mattress, then be done with it.

When we moved, I watched how the movers negotiated the switchback landing at the stairs. Very cleverly--by bringing the mattresses up, then doing a rotation over the handrail, then on up the other set of steps. Of course, it helps to have two people. Two strong people.

But, at least the first part of the ordeal was downhill.

Off with the bed sheets and comforter and pillows and junk, HUGGHHHHN pick up the now floppy and flaccid mattress. It was a Restonic, the one with the Marvelous Middle. Much like me, after so many years it now had a mooshy middle. Anyway, it was still heavy and floppy and cumbersome (again, like me), but off the bed with it, out to the hallway, down the first set of steps, twist, flip, down the second set of steps, nearly took out the kitchen table, made the turn, and DONE. Leaned it up against the countertop and went back for round two.

Took off the bedskirt, UMMPHHHed the box spring up. This is harder because unlike mattresses, box springs are rigid. Unlike me. Up out of the frame, drop it on my toe (lightly), out into the hall, down the first set OF WHOA! steps, flip, rotaAAAAATE! AAAH! Whew. Turn, sliIIIIIIIIIDE! and nearly took out the kitchen table AND the window. Made the turn and SUCCESS! Leaned it up against the mattress.

NOW THEN.

The underside of the bed was a lovely forest of fuzziness, so I determined I would get the Dustbuster and the regular vacuum and...oh, wait. That stupid trundle bed frame. ::sigh:: Heavy, unbending, and full of razor-blade sharp edges and needle-like wire.

That I managed to carry it from the bedroom to the upstairs landing (and later on, downstairs, and even later on, out to the van, and then still later over to my in-law's house, and EVEN MORE LATERER into their downstairs den) without doing myself an injury is truly evidence of the hand of God protecting idiots and innocents.

Anyway, took out the three wood slat and laid them aside, then got the surplus bedframe out and out of the way, and then decided I might better get the new stuff inside before it did something bad like start raining.

Downstairs to the van. Sliced off the strapping tape and gently eased the box springs off the top and laid it on the ground and HUMMMPHHHH picked it up by the plastic bag around it and ooched it into the garage and into the kitchen and leaned it up against the other old bedding. Back out and finished clipping off the other bits of strapping, then popped the lid on the rear hatch.

ERRRGGHHHHUUUH! Boy, that's one big heavy hunk of a mattress. "Juliet" it said on the end. I tell you what, that Romeo musta been one stout kid to have been able to deal with a heifer like Juliet. URFFUHHHGHH! It must have looked for all the world to the neighbors like I was midwifing a whale birth.

OOOCHOUOUROHEORHOH! Flop. Well, now.

Closed the hatch and picked up the baby and took it inside, once more relying on the handy slick plastic wrapper to move it around through the garage and into the kitchen. Which was now jam-packed with beds.

Next--rather than start right in with moving more stuff, I thought I would rest a bit and clean some, so I went back upstairs and grabbed the Dustbuster and made a move toward the dustbunnies. It must have looked overwhelming, because I promise you the Dustbuster looked up at me and said, "You're kidding, right!?"

Then the big mama, and after some determined effort, the underside of the bed was cleaner than the surrounding floor, which if you follow along with any regularity means you know that ain't saying much. But at least I felt better about it.

Now then. New stuff. Hmm. I wonder if I should put those slats back in? The bed frame has a foundation ledge, and since the whole assembly was now so ginormously tall, I figured it wouldn't hurt anything to leave them out. Save a half inch or so, you know.

Whatever. Time to get the new stuff upstairs!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 26, 2005 10:26 AM