August 16, 2011

Just like it was yesterday...

A very long yesterday, but yesterday nonetheless.

In any event, I decided that if I must take a break from not blogging, what better day to mark the occasion than my (and my wife's) 20th wedding anniversary!

The secret to our success? There is no alternative. We're both of the belief that marriage is intended to be a forever sort of thing, come what may, hell or high water, between a rock and a hard place, fire, hail, locusts, darkness, &c., &c., &c. Also, that when you add it all up, all that bad stuff is but a thimbleful compared to the simple contentment of having a nice person with whom to share the day (and the night).

Other items:

1. This stuff about marriage being a 50/50 proposition is garbage--it requires absolute 100% commitment and involvement every single day of your life. Even in your sleep. Just a tip--never tell your wife about this weird dream you had about you and Raquel Welch.

2. Do your job. Each of you have things you're supposed to take care of--if you don't know what they are, you better figure it out. The preacher who married us reminded me that I was supposed to be the man, and do things like kill bugs. Not that Reba couldn't kill them herself, but it was my job to do it. And I have done it as assiduously as I have been able to.

3. All that stuff you do that makes the other one mad? Don't do it. (Much) And don't ever say that all the stuff THEY do makes you mad. Because it doesn't. (Much)

4. Have a lot of children. They're expensive and occasionally dangerous, but then again, so are Ferraris. And you'll never be able to afford a Ferrari if you have kids, so enjoy what you've got. They do have their moments, though, you know--no Ferrari ever climbed up in your lap and gave you a big hug and said "I love you, Daddy." And then puked on you. Also, Ferraris won't take care of you when you get old and you walk out the door with your fly unzipped. Not that children will, either, but they will be sure you know about it by laughing at you.

5. Never lie. But do learn to tell the truth properly, or else you're just making it hard on yourself.

6. Learn to live with imperfections. Not that Reba has any, but if she did, I would overlook them. Constantly.

7. You're not always right. Even if you are, pretend not to be.

8. Every once in a while, do something unexpected. Not including things like emptying the bank account, or committing adultery. I'm talking about maybe doing the dishes or vacuuming or making me a sandwich when I didn't ask.

9. If you're a guy, always remember the important dates. Birthday, anniversary, the date you got engaged, the childrens' birthdays. If you're a girl, when he forgets one of those, try to understand that a guy's brain has only three moving parts--food, football, and procreative activities. Anything he remembers beyond that is a blessing.

10. If you're a girl, always be a girl. Guys like that kind of thing. If you're a guy, and she goes off and does something girly like talking while standing in front of the football game on TV, remember that if you listen, you might learn something very important that you can use later while you're eating or enjoying procreative activities.

11. Be kind.

12. Take a lot of vacation pictures and occasionally share one on your blog because it's just so danged cute:

Dauphin Island 2011.jpg

And that's about it.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at August 16, 2011 10:21 AM

Congratulations to both of you! The picture is indeed dang cute, and you have the look of newlyweds still.

Posted by: Diane at August 16, 2011 11:29 AM

Thank you, Diane! As for the newlyweds, we ahve found that such activities thoroughly disgust the children.


Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 16, 2011 12:05 PM

So you resumed posting & on my birthyday & didn't even tell me? For shame Terry, for shame. I can see why Miss Reba needs to keep you on close watch. Anyway those are some good ideas on most of life's activities, I think I'll swipe them & send them to the grands... they'll ignore them just like all the other things I say, whippersnappers!

take care now,

Posted by: Tony von Krag at August 21, 2011 09:31 AM

Well, dang--happy birthday, Chef! I'll be sure to remember from here on out...

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 21, 2011 02:43 PM

And that's the truth! Such a cute couple.

Posted by: Sarah G. at August 21, 2011 09:01 PM

Oh, you're only saying that because it's true!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 21, 2011 10:00 PM

Well congratulations to both of you. I sure hope you will be celebrating properly for all her hard work keeping things running smoothly for 20 years.

Posted by: Nate at August 26, 2011 09:51 AM

Yes, I gave her the day off. What can I do if she refuses to accept it!?

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 26, 2011 02:52 PM

Well I got a delivery to the Chief Architect of Birmingham, you ready to sign for it? Conga-rats Terry & long overdue IMO.

Posted by: Tony von Krag at August 30, 2011 02:17 AM

Thank you, sir! Now I have to get some help hired....

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 30, 2011 06:12 AM