Possumblog

Want some of my work? I don't feel like doing it.

Certainly.

Please insert your work into a standard manila envelope and mail it to me. After it is received, we will assign you a special customer number and prioritize your work within our system. Please allow five to eight years for processing.

sound like the MD Motor Vehicles Administration.

Good lord. Getting things done in 5 years?

That's twice as fast as usual.

Do you have an e-mail option for submitting work?

Thank you, Steevil. We strive to model best-practice examples whenever possible. We have found the Maryland Department of Motor Vehicles to be particularly adept at paperwork speed and efficiency.

And yes, Skinnydan, we are about 2 to 2.36 times faster than our competitors. Our competitive advantages include the aforementioned speed of completion, as well as aggressive pricing, our special customer number program, and a large incinerator.

And yes, Miss Janis, work may be submitted by e-mail. Please place your work in a standard manila envelope and attach it to an e-mail to E-Customer Service. After it is received, we will assign you a special e-customer number and prioritize your e-work within our system. Please allow five to eight years for e-processing.

Another tip from MD MVA: continuously busy phone line (they did answer an email, though).

We have a special automated telephone answering system that picks up on the first ring, so that you never get a busy signal. Exhausting all possible combinations of menu selections will take approximately one hour, after which time you will be transferred to the automatic voice messaging system, then disconnected prior to being able to leave a complete message.

I saw this here: http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/02/texas-barbeque.html

Texas-Style Monster Potato

This stuffed potato is the most basic and similar to the one that I had at Mo’s. Use this recipe as a point of departure and add all your favorite toppings. This recipe is for 1 potato, double it as many times as you need to feed your crowd. You can also use the baked potato as the base for killer nachos.

1 freshly baked russet potato, about 2 pounds
Sea salt and freshly ground pepper
1 tablespoon unsalted butter at room temperature
2 tablespoons sour cream
½ cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
½ cup chopped smoked turkey, brisket, pork, sausage etc.
2 scallions cleaned, trimmed and chopped
Favorite Barbecue Sauce

Take the potato out of the oven or grill. Split it down the middle and press on the sides to open. Season the potato flesh with salt and pepper. Layer the butter, sour cream, cheese and turkey in the open depression of the potato. Sprinkle the scallions over top and serve with sauce on the side.

Repeat as necessary to serve a crowd.

I wonder how it'd taste using maque choux and crawdads in it?

Probably almost as good as manatee.

The best part of that article, Tony, is one man's comments about "Q". He said Texans barbecue beef because it's too hard to steal a pig from horseback.

"½ cup chopped smoked turkey, brisket, pork, sausage etc."

It doesn't say, Tony, but I assume that's 1/2 cup each?

SkinnyDan, it is Texas so prolly so. :-)

Terry if only the manatee was grass fed. Yes it's true, manatees getting into unclaimed bales of Mary-Ja-Wanna. Maybe this is why they're always getting run over by speedboats? And no I'm not going to speculate on coked up manatees.

Speaking of coke and manatees, how about Grandpaw's Coca-Cola Glazed Manatee!

1 Fully-cooked manatee
Whole Cloves
Pineapple Rings and Maraschino Cherries

Ingredients for Glaze
About 6 gallons of Coca-Cola
12 pounds of packed Brown Sugar
Pineapple or Orange Juice (to taste)
Ground Cinnamon (to taste)
Ground Cloves (to taste)
1 Tablespoon of Butter or Margarine (optional)
Raisins (optional)

Mix the ingredients for the glaze in a small washtub and heat over medium heat until sugar is melted and ingredients are blended. The glaze should be syrupy-thick. If too thin or runny, add more brown sugar. Set aside for the moment.

Score the top of the manatee diagonally and stud with whole cloves. Garnish with pineapple rings (hold them in place with toothpicks while baking). Place a cherry in the middle of each ring.

Pour manatee glaze over the top. Bake in a 350-degree Fahrenheit oven until heated throughout (about 48 hours for a 1300-pound manatee).

While baking, baste the manatee occasionally with the glaze, which will mix nicely with the pan drippings. When manatee is finished, pour off juices into a server and let guests ladle it on as desired.

Garnish with sprig of parsley.

MMMMMMMM!

I don't suppose the pic-a-part has industrial size ovens for the Manatee, have they? Maybe I need an open-pit barby-queue.

Better yet, I'll start smaller - a baby elephant or a half-grown walrus. Either way, I have to go make some more friends or I'll be stuck with leftovers for years.

BTW, you REALLY need to start blogging again. I have a lot more free time these days, and I'm getting bored.

Well, just remember when you get your elephant or walrus that you get them here in Alabama. The "Tusks are looser"! HAH! I kill me! (That's actually an old Groucho Marx joke. Which proves that there is some benefit to Marxism.)

But no, no more blogging for me.

Reminds me of a t-shirt I used to have once upon a time. Except mine was pale blue.

Ahh, yes, the Com[ic]intern.