November 06, 2007

Chet's In Heaven!

No, not like that.

I mean he's just really happy because we got an actual e-mail today, and that meant that Chet the E-Mail Boy got to swing into a flurry of activity (as flurrisome as he gets, at least) as he got busy transcribing it from Morse code to Linotype to a printed sheet for me to edit then back to the Linotype and then back to me with the final copy.

Gosh, this better be good:

from: Marc Velazquez
10:33 am (3 hours ago)
to: Terry Oglesby
date: Nov 6, 2007 10:33 AM
subject: Sonic Snack

Hey Terry!

Hey Marc!

I hope you'll forgive my "nudgings" to get you back into some kind of posting habit. I do miss the daily fun we had.

Sorry, Marc. But I just can't anymore. In the immortal words of Chief Joseph, "I will blog no more forever." Or something like that. So you'll never ever have a need to ever come back by here, because there won't be any more new material.

Then again, most of it was leftovers anyway...

With that said, please feel free to use the following for posting material: Have you seen and tried the new snack, Deep Fried Macaroni and Cheese Bites, from Sonic?

I've seen the commercials, but have not observed them in their natural habitat.

When I first saw the commercial I thought, "How did they get that from Terry?" You mentioned last week about the boys in the R&D Kitchen Lab were hard at work, thus my curiosity. The article I gave the link for mentions that Sonic is not the first to come up with this snack.

The closest Sonic to me is over 20 miles away, ergo no FMCB's for me yet.

Please shed some light on this snack scenario, oh Grand Poobah of AoW and Cornaguin creator!

Actually, this idea is one of Possumblog Kitchen's rejects.

As you know, we believe it's important to have a sharpened stick inserted into our foods, and we believe in large quantities. Ever tried to stick a wooden stick into a big bowl of mac and cheese and pick it up? Doesn't work very well. We wound up using that wagonwheel pasta stuff that has an axle hole in the middle, which worked pretty well, but then someone pointed out that there was no meat.

We tried working on a chili mac version, and that didn't work, either. Then we went back to the drawing board and decided to take some of our tender, farm-raised manatees and feed them a strict diet of macaroni and cheese, and as a result, we now have a new product--Mac'n'Cheesatees! All the rich, blubbery goodness of genuine Florida manatee, sprinkled thru'n'thru with tasty bits of pasta and wholesome American cheese, all wrapped up in a warm, crunchy cornbread-batter coating, and then deep fried in TRANS-FAT FREE OIL, and of course, served on a genuine hardwood dowel, precisely sharpened for your eating enjoyment!

So, you know, if Sonic wants to stick (so to speak) with their puny little puffs of macaroni and cheese, eh, whatever. I'd rather that they'd invest in more fresh-faced, tightly-packed leggy blonde corn-fed carhops, and find some way to do away with all the slack-jawed pimply doofus dudes. But that could just be me.

Or not.

[PS With the writers strike in Hollywood, this could be a golden opportunity for someone like you who has a talent for comedic writing. Not to mention your vast knowledge of fine Southern living!]

Since when did it take talent to write for Hollywood?

These people are supposed to be the cream of the creative crop, yet all I hear on the news are these goomers walking around and chanting the EXACT SAME "Two-four-six-eight-insert your insufferably twee demand here and attempt to make it rhyme with 'eight'" commie protester chant that's been around FOREVER! Buncha crappy hacks can't come up with something better than THAT!? And they want more money for it!? Please. I say it's time for studios to start outsourcing some of that work to Mumbai or Jakarta or Singapore. If you're gonna get rusty retreaded crap anyway, why not economize a bit?

Good thing I don't blog anymore or I'd have to say something about it.

Hope things are going well for you and the rest of the Oglesby clan. I'm already starting to get sick of seeing Christmas commercials, considering I'm still eating stolen "Halloween" candy.

Speaking of Oglesby clan. Odd how Marc segues right from asking about us to talking about eating stolen candy.


There now.

But yes, we're all doing just fine, thank you for asking. And NONE of us are in jail!


As for Hallothanksgivchristmannukwanzyear'sday, I'm not tired of it yet. Marc, however...

I use the quote marks since the candy came from the Harvest celebration at church, or whatever euphemism they happened to label it with. I did get my own bag of candy, though, at the end of the night after manning the dinosaur bean-bag toss and picking up those *$#% stupid bags for 90 minutes. Ah well, at least the kids had fun (I hope).

I know how irritating it can be, but REALLY, Marc--you mustn't insist on calling the little old church ladies "*$#% stupid bags." At least not to their faces.

I saw Auburn is creeping up the rankings, though it would take a Bear Bryant-sized miracle for them to crack the top 8 and get into the BCS.

Not gonna happen, what with only two games left in the season. And Bama is probably pretty desperate for Tommy Tuberville not to start on another hand's worth of fingers. One prediction? Should Alabama win the Iron Bowl, I guarantee you someone will have tee-shirts on sale five minutes afterward with a cartoon Big Al holding up his middle finger (toe? What do elephants have?) and saying "I got your finger right here, Auburn!"

It's called "class," you know.

Anyway, Auburn won't get any sort of BCS recognition this year.

I watched some of the LSU-Alabama game and noticed some lovely ladies wearing houndstooth hats with yellow/purple coloring. It was pretty funny, unless you're a Crimson Tide fan.

The LSUsers do seem to take his departure from Miami awfully hard. It would probably not be quite so bad except they wound up with Les "I am Certifiably Insane" Miles. I congratulate them for winning all these so far, but he's not coaching Notre Dame and shouldn't rely on sheer blind luck to continue to win games for him. Fourth and half a foot and some of the toughest linemen and backs around, and you CALL A TRICK PLAY!? Moron.

And I know moron...

Well, at least Darth Saban had his somber face on after the game. Hmmm, maybe you can whip up some Cornabogs (batter-dipped and fried Bulldog on a stick) for the weekend?

AND there's another coach who's not screwed together right. That stupid display against Florida was weapons-grade, Howard Dean, outhouse rat crazy. Anyway, should be a pretty good game...

Bountiful blessings,


Wow. Makes me wish I still blogged.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at November 6, 2007 02:51 PM

If you vow to blog no more, then why are you blogging?

I vote for a comeback. Youcandoit!

Posted by: megabeth at November 6, 2007 03:47 PM

Nope. It's best if I just end it and not keep coming back. Cold turkey. And I'm not really blogging. It only looks that way because it's on a computer.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 6, 2007 04:02 PM

I bow to your blogosity. A guy who doesn't blog anymore fits a week's worth into one post. And he shows those fancy-pants Hollyweird writers how to lay the smack down! Who knows, with everything going into reruns, maybe folks will go to blogs for entertainment. Here's where the AoW can begin their world domination plan, one bored TV viewer at a time.

I do feel a little remorse for not blogging on those "tasty" subjects I served up to you, so hopefully your post will inspire me to lofty blogging heights. Or not. Sluggardry does have its advantages.

Posted by: Marc V at November 6, 2007 04:03 PM

Blogs? Entertaining!? PLEASE! It is to laugh! Don't you know that "blogs" are poorly-written piles of twaddle written by journalist wannabes who live in their parents' basement and eat prepackaged snack foods and vote Republican?! And not only are they poorly-written, they are UNEDITED! How can anything like that be entertaining!? Frankly, I think they're just a flash in the pan, if I may be so bold as to use a "metaphor," which is a figure of speech most bloggers don't even know about!

Stupid bloggers.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 6, 2007 04:12 PM

A little story you might like:

from Ann Althouse

Posted by: Janis Gore at November 6, 2007 05:07 PM

I saw that. All I can say is "What were they expecting!?"

Emperor's new clothes and all...

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 6, 2007 05:14 PM

It has been so long since I indulged that I cannot remember by Bloger password. I suppose that means I am kaput as leading voice on Algore's WWW.

Posted by: Larry Anderson at November 6, 2007 05:16 PM

Nonsense, Larry.

Speaking of which, how is the Free Mercedes?

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 6, 2007 05:20 PM

Up here in bigtime NOLANorth we've got our very own Gerry flop http://www.weisman.umn.(space to let this be posted)edu/architecture/images.html What's even better there's going to be a addition to the graceless lump. On other more fitting topics; Who's going to win the SEC and go to the Sugar Bowl. Plus is the bowl going to be held in NOLA & is the full auto gunfire going to stop? Questions I can't answer... yet.

Posted by: Chef Tony at November 6, 2007 08:09 PM


If you want to continue to NOT blog once a week or so, I think we will be pleased to not read the non-posts after they are not made. (I think I am confusing myself so I guess I'd better stop my non-comment.)

Posted by: Stan at November 7, 2007 12:39 AM

I object! I am mortally offended! How could you make such statements?

I too sent you an email yesterday, after all.

Posted by: skinnydan at November 7, 2007 08:27 AM

Tony, I don't know about the Eastern Div--could be Georgia, Florida, or Tennessee. I don't think there's a good chance of LSU losing out in the West. And no, I doubt the various feu de joie will abate just because the Sugar Bowl's in town.

Stan, I appreciate your non-support.

And Dan, I KNOW! But the Merganthaler broke before Chet got the message completely typeset. I'm still waiting for him to fix it. Once that happens, I'll give your message the full attention it deserves.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 7, 2007 09:04 AM

Oh good. I was afraid you might actually waste time by reading the silly thing.

Posted by: skinnydan at November 7, 2007 09:44 AM

You have nothing to fear, Skinnydan, except fear itself. And zombies.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 7, 2007 10:05 AM

Macaroni and Cheese are the True Gods.


Posted by: Chris Muir at November 7, 2007 10:32 AM

Dagnabbit all! I give up blogging, and THEN I get a celebrity visit!

(Good to hear from you, Chris! You know, I still have that extra special cartoon of Sam in a bikini stored in an extra special secret part of the hard drive.)

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 7, 2007 10:50 AM

Quick Terry, send Chris Muir a box of Mac'n'Cheesatees while the fryin' oil is still hot! He could include a picture the gang in the office each wolfing one down. Think of the sales ...

[And I'm surprised Mr. Skinnydan did not bring up the unkosherness of Mac'n'Cheesatees. Perhaps a soy substitute for the manatee chunks can be developed.]

Posted by: Marc V at November 7, 2007 11:10 AM

The real celebrities are...everybody. The only reason people ever hear of me is because of places like this.

All I can think of right now is Mac&Cheese,dammit. Time for lunch!

Posted by: Chris Muir at November 7, 2007 11:21 AM

Marc, Chris is gonna get the Special Holiday Sampler Box with two each of all of our wonderful cornbread-battered and deep fried animals on a stick products. And I think we'll be able to work out a pretty good product placement deal in the coming months. Our lawyers are talking.

As for the fact that vast majority of Possumblog Kitchens' fare is treif, Skinnydan has been most forgiving. He, like all of us, realize that there IS no substitute for manatee.


Now I'M hungry, too!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 7, 2007 11:21 AM

Kids, I do have to try. I have had some of those Mac-Bites. The ones I had were a little greasy and the macaroni was overdone.

Now, now, I wouldn't have done it, except we don't cook with cheese at home. Lyman won't have it.

On the other hand, Sonic's cheese sticks and the poppers aren't all theat bad.

Posted by: Janis Gore at November 7, 2007 12:45 PM

I have to admit to a fondness for Captain D's Jalapeno Poppers.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 7, 2007 01:08 PM

I'm glad you are still (not) blogging occasionally. I miss this place.

Posted by: Jordana at November 7, 2007 02:27 PM

It does get a bit lonesome around the ol' Axis of Weevil HQ building. Especially after we laid off everyone in the Business Development and Graft department. Luckily, Jimmy (from next door)'s condition has returned, so at least there is that to keep us occupied. His aunt told him to quit picking at it, but you know how he is.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 7, 2007 02:39 PM

S'okay, Marc. Not to let the fish out of the bag, but KosherPossum Industries does have something for us Hebrews in development.

I don't want to give too much away, but Mac & Gefilteese Noshes might be somehow involved.

Posted by: skinnydan at November 7, 2007 04:51 PM

SHHHH! Let's not be too careless, Dan!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 8, 2007 10:19 AM

What? I didn't say a word about the Gribenes.

Posted by: skinnydan at November 9, 2007 08:53 AM

That actually sounds pretty doggone good. I'm surprised it hasn't caught on around here.

Not yet, at least...

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 9, 2007 09:05 AM

I'd bet it hasn't caught on around here because the fat and skin on these newfangled farmed chickens doesn't taste worth a flip.

The Kosher community has the advantage of Kosher chickens.

Speaking of, how much difference is there between the raising methods for Kosher chickens compared to, say, Tyson?

Posted by: Janis Gore at November 9, 2007 12:57 PM

I'm not sure, but I think kosher chickens don't work on Saturdays.

(Or, if you're looking for a more authoritative source, you could check here.)

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 9, 2007 01:59 PM