August 10, 2007


From our good friend and money-making-idea-man Marc Velazquez:

Hmmm, Britneyland...

If you have some free time tomorrow, maybe you could start a post and the gang could contribute ideas for opening the Axis of Weevil's Britneyland on the Redneck Riviera. It would be a great outlet for the Cornaguin/Cornatee inventory.

You could also have a "Possum Lair" section for kiddie rides. I'll stop for now and suggest a ride for the main park: Crash Cars while holding a baby on your lap (and driving with one hand as you're using your other hand to grasp a cold drink). Cigarette clenched in your lips is optional, though the park should be non-smokefree.

Was it Stan or Nate [It was Stan. Ed.] who could work on the lyrics for the "Look Away Britneyland" theme song for the park?

Folks, I don't know how this could miss!

The Mississippi, Alabama, and Northwest Florida Gulf Coast might have a lot of other entertainment-type things going for it, but I know this sort of venture would be a sure-fire hit! Further suggestions gladly accepted in the comments, as well as congratulations to Marc for being so forward-thinking and pop-culture savvy!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at August 10, 2007 12:03 PM

I'm hoping when this takes off you can "oversee" the AoW empire, make "bukkets of munni" and ultimately give you more time for blogging.

Don't forget, the winner of each round of Crash Cars will get their opportunity of a "revealing" photograph taken as they exit the car.

Posted by: Marc V at August 10, 2007 12:26 PM

Man--it's just one good idea after another with you!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 10, 2007 12:29 PM

Head shaving booth? Rehab roundabout? Hang with a Sk@nk parties?

The possibilities are endless, assuming you have neither class, taste, nor fully functional frontal lobes.

Posted by: skinnydan at August 10, 2007 12:45 PM

It can't miss!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 10, 2007 01:02 PM

I guess this will be a no-underwear zone too?

Posted by: Chef Tony at August 10, 2007 02:35 PM

I'm sure we all want to strive for the the greatest sense of authenticity.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 10, 2007 02:47 PM

JT Shootin' Range: Various pop-up monster targets with JT's face. Extra bonus for hitting Christina Aguilera. Customers can upgrade their shootin' irons for a nominal fee.

Dating Game: Take Britney's place as you get to ask the questions to stand-ins for JT, K-Fed and some cute roadie.

K-Fed Rapper Maze: As you navigate the maze, recite rap verses (posted at each station) in your hip-hip best style. Watch out for groupies, as you never know when Britney will catch you and whomp you upside the head.

Party Zone: Customers can upgrade to enter a replica Hollywood bar, complete with real-life Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan look-alikes. Complain about guys when you're chatting with them, and then try to steal their boyfriends.

[Why do I feel ashamed to know this much junk about the whole sordid mess?]

Posted by: Spud at August 10, 2007 05:36 PM

Well, I KNEW I was going to regret my outbreak of verse. Nevertheless:

Oh I wish I was in the land of Possum,
Good times there do really blossom,
Look away, look away, look away, Britney Land.

I wish I was with Britney, Hooray, Hooray,
In Britney Land I'll shave my head
To party hard with Britney.
Away, away, away down south with Britney!

Any and all attempts to outdo me are cordially welcomed.

Posted by: Stan at August 10, 2007 09:10 PM

::sniff:: You guys are great!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 13, 2007 08:11 AM

Stan, in the words of a certain sheriff, that was extry good. Good times blossom?!?

Posted by: Marc V at August 13, 2007 09:47 AM

Well, you try to find something to rhyme with "Possum". (ha)

I suppose it could have been worse. At least this isn't "Penguinblog."

Posted by: Stan at August 13, 2007 10:05 AM

Oh in Britneyland where I be lunchin'
Good food there is ne'er forgotten,
Eat away, eat away, eat away,

[Possum: cost some, rostrum]

Posted by: Marc V at August 13, 2007 11:11 AM