June 21, 2007


You betcha!

Nothing like exploring alternative lifestyles and philosophies--today we visit the Kalabarians, who are able to tell much about you by analyzing your name. It's very scientific.

And they are so scientific that they give EVERY name the same thorough, reasoned analysis, even if the name sounds odd and vaguely insulting. So, even if you're named something like, oh, I don't know, maybe "Dingleberry," you can still receive top-notch information about you and your chances of success in this world and hidden secrets about your personality!

There are hundreds of thousands of names in their database, so no matter if you're a Booger, a Twit, a Turd, a Possum (male, or female), or nothing more than Dirt, you will find out all sorts of valuable things you never knew about yourself, and maybe get over the deep-seated anger you feel toward your parents.

Oh, you might be tired of people making fun of you, but when you find out that even with a name such as Dirt, you have a "very responsible, stable nature" and your "calmness of mind enables you to analyze objectively, and to make decisions quickly, making it possible for you to do well in business or in any professional capacity," well, the sky suddenly becomes the limit for you!

So thanks to the Kalabarians and their supernatural insight into YOUR name!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 21, 2007 08:36 AM

"-Your first name of Nate has given you a practical, logical, analytical approach to life and a great deal of patience.

-You enjoy working at anything of a mechanical or technical nature, and believe that what is worth doing is worth doing well."

They have me pegged!

Posted by: Nate at June 21, 2007 09:22 AM

"Your name of Turd creates a very expressive, versatile, and spontaneous nature.

You are happiest when you are associating with people and participating in activities with others.

Your name gives you a desire to sing, dance, and have a good time."

Mr. Hankie! A perfect description. [/South Park]

Posted by: Nate at June 21, 2007 09:29 AM

I'm telling you--they're on to something here.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 21, 2007 09:48 AM

"Although the name Janis creates the urge to be creative, independent, and self-sufficient, we point out that it causes a materialistic, somewhat self-opinionated approach that frustrates higher humanitarian qualities."

Oooh, they don't like me very much, do they?

Posted by: Janis Gore at June 21, 2007 02:20 PM

Well, just be glad your name isn't Poopie: "Although the name Poopie creates executive ambitions, we emphasize that it limits your versatility and scope, tuning you to technical details."

"This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the reproductive organs, and elimination system."

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 21, 2007 03:09 PM