June 05, 2007

Okay, it's not like I was TRYING to be all John Edwardsy.

It's just that there wasn't any shampoo in the shower this morning OTHER than the two (incredibly expensive) bottles of girly salon goo--one was just regular Healthy Sexy Hair Soymilk Shampoo, the other, Healthy Sexy Hair Chocolate Soymilk Shampoo.

It was either use one of those, or wash my hair with deodorant soap.

So, I used the chocolate. Smelled like I was showering in Ovaltine. And all I could think of was how silly all this stuff is. That is, until I read this: British women prefer chocolate to sex: poll . All makes sense now, I guess--the shampoo comes from Great [sic] Britain after all, and apparently the women there like their chocolate more than their men. Such as they are.

Still, I am haunted by the fact that this stuff is in MY house. Could this be some sort of not-so-subtle hint regarding my declining he-manly attractiveness!? And rather than just going ahead and lathering my head with a bar of Lever 2000, did I inadvertently make matters even worse by poncing it up with a dollop of chocolate shampoo!? Chocolate soy milk shampoo, that not only will make my hair shiny, but make me grow girly bits and desire to watch Music and Lyrics--again!

I've GOT to be sure to stop by the store on the way home and get a gallon bottle of Sam's Choice shampoo/dishwashing detergent.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 5, 2007 10:41 AM

Do it now!

When you start watching Lifetime and We for hours on end, it'll be too late.

Posted by: southtrek at June 5, 2007 11:05 AM

Well, I DO have work to do and Wal-Mart is a bit too far away at the moment--in the interim, I knocked back a couple of BC powders and chased them down with a lukewarm Diet Chek cola, then burped the alphabet as loudly as I could.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 5, 2007 11:16 AM

Hmm, just watched Music and Lyrics this past weekend...

And I liked it. There were some very funny lines and I kinda dig Drew Barrymore.

But there's no chocolate soymilk shampoo in my house!

Posted by: Nate at June 5, 2007 11:26 AM

Well, it really was sweet when she was walking out of the theater at the end all sad and crying, and he got on the piano, and she realized he was singing to her, and...


Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 5, 2007 11:33 AM

Boy Howdy! I feel all special like now. I haven't a clue other than Ms Drew Barrymore is a actress? You know... I like it this way.

Posted by: Chef Tony at June 5, 2007 11:48 AM


Uhhh, yeah...I didn't even know who she was until I was bound and gagged and forced to watch that movie. Only thing I know is that she flashed David Letterman and made him have a massive coronary.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 5, 2007 12:08 PM

Wait a minute, you watch Letterman? Ugh! We are a Leno household exclusively.

Posted by: Nate at June 5, 2007 12:29 PM

Well, let's face it--neither one of them is Conan.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 5, 2007 12:33 PM

And let us all be thankful for that.

Posted by: skinnydan at June 5, 2007 02:39 PM

Well, at the very least, you'll have healthy, sexy hair when you turn into a woman. But I think at your age, you'll be ok. The build up of testosterone is sufficient in your veins. It's the boy you need to worry about. Buy some he-man shampoo for him. Do it for the children!

Posted by: Jordana at June 5, 2007 03:15 PM

Awwwwww, the children. You're right, I really do need to take care of the chil--WAIT A MINUTE!!


I've got mastadon hunting to do, and some random destructiveness!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 5, 2007 03:26 PM

I once accidentally used Tracy's red highlights shampoo. Walked around all day with reddish hair. People looked at me.

Posted by: kitchen hand at June 5, 2007 07:13 PM

...and thought, "Now THERE'S a confident man!"

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 6, 2007 07:05 AM