Still, I feel compelled to act.
I was just now standing here in my palatial office at the Axis of Weevil World Headquarters Building, absentmindedly stroking the bronze bust of Kennedy (Jayne) that sits upon my credenza, and I noticed that traffic on Possumblog is noticeably slack today. Few people commenting or e-mailing or just stopping by to visit, which is such a letdown after the big Instalanche and companion Acidmanlanche of the past days.
It puts me in a foul mood, I must say.
I have summoned Chet the E-Mail Boy into my office, and he is now standing beside me, trembling.
Why?
Because unless we start getting some more visitors around here, and fast, I intend to clout him upon his hoary pate with the walking stick I have in my hand, encrusted with genuine Diamelles, that I purchased from the Home Shopping Network.
So unless you want to see a poor old man thwacked because of your lack of clickage, you'd all better get to it and start making the meter spin.
Now then, I'm going to go sit in the outer office and answer the phone, since the secretary is gone today.
And I'm going to strike Chet one just for spite.
You can't threaten me for a comment, so it ain't gonna happen. Fuhggeddaboutit.
Posted by: Marc V at May 3, 2007 12:53 PMI'd be careful there. What if Miss Butch taught him some kind of octogenarian Hmong martial arts? [and let me cut off the smartalecks - I wrote, and meant, martial, not marital. - ed.]
At best, you might be caught in a walking stick Darth Vader - Obi Wan-type lightsaber duel. Minus the lightsabers.
Posted by: skinnydan at May 3, 2007 01:01 PM No the grades aren’t posted yet!
Perhaps you didn’t get an “A” because the highest you have made all semester is a 68.– Now leave me alone
I've been working behind the scenes to bring you down to my visitor level...
Posted by: Nate at May 3, 2007 01:10 PMMarc, it's not a threat, it's a promise. And I must say, Chet's not making it easy by cringing in the corner like that.
Skinnydan, who do you think I got the idea of whacking him like a pinata from? Miss Butch pummels him relentlessly. Which isn't really all that bad since she only weighs 80 pounds. Lucky for him she can't find her M-16, though, because it's 80 pounds of pure spite.
Jim--lay off the caffeine.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2007 01:13 PMAnd Nate--I'll have you know that's MY job.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2007 01:13 PMaren't we still allowed to lurk... If you ain't sitting on the front porch when I pass, why say Hi! ?
Posted by: Oscar at May 3, 2007 01:27 PMNo, lurking is perfectly acceptable--it's just that for the better part of this morning, we didn't even have a single lurker, peeping Tom, prowler, stalker, or intruder. It's very disconcerting.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2007 01:43 PMOh, and remember--every time you visit Possumblog, an angel gets his wings!
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2007 01:44 PMPerhaps everyone was loitering instead?
And, incidentally, according to your odometer, 710,666 angels had gotten their wings at last count. Not quite the mark of the beast, but close enough to worry a few people.
So quit noodging us.
Posted by: skinnydan at May 3, 2007 02:32 PMHmph! The one tiny bit of joy I get in life--noodging--and you'd begrudge me that!
Well, just for that, in addition to a few swift blows about Chet's head and neck, I shall also make him work through his break time!
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2007 02:40 PMI had to take the children to swimming. Now I have to educate them and pack up for our next house-hopping move. When do I have time to hang out?
Oh right, when I'm pretending I don't have a million things hanging over my head. That's when.
Posted by: Jordana at May 3, 2007 03:38 PMSee, it's so very simple if you find sufficient motivation!
(I hope the child who was feverish and vomity stopped all that before you flang her into the swimming pool.)
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2007 03:52 PMI thought Diet Coke was a tiny joy in your life, or is that an essential?
Speaking of essentials, have I missed any comment from you about a new member of the Diet Coke family: Diet Coke Plus? Seems kinda "oxymoronish" to me, a Diet Coke that's good for you. I've been hesitant to give it a taste test, but I have to go out to the grocery store for sugar and SureJel (it's that time of year again), so maybe I'll get one and give it a go, eh. Maybe if you posted about that the Instalanches would rain down again!?
Posted by: Spud at May 3, 2007 03:56 PMOkay, Diet Coke AND noodging. And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.
I hadn't heard about Diet Coke Plus, but as long as it tastes the same and costs the same, I'd drink it, especially for breakfast when I down my fistful of Flinstones vitamins and Nervine effervescent tablets.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2007 04:09 PMWell, I think you need to serve more ice cream. That's what this place needs.
Posted by: Sarah G. at May 3, 2007 09:46 PMWell, sure--but there's NOTHING that's not better with ice cream.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 4, 2007 09:04 AM