April 17, 2007

And speaking of cars...

It looks like DaimlerChrysler is well on the way to divesting itself of majority ownership of its US subsidiaries, and ever since I read that article saying that Al Gore and his priesthood and parishioners should put their money where their mouth is and buy Chrysler Group and make it the greenest car company on the planet, I've haven't stopped considering the possibilities. The very idea of driving a Gore-sler just makes me quiver like an excited puppy, but I'd say the Left ought to go it one better, and make Chrysler the testbed of all of the wonderful progressive policies. All that stuff about how corporations should be run If Life Were Fair?

Make it fair!

All of them should scrape together their pennies and make Chrysler not only the greenest car company, but the most socially-conscious one, too. No compensation for their big shot managers, a million dollar per year minimum wage, a 10 hour work week, free pony rides and Ben and Jerry's ice cream for all--all that stuff that sounds good and they claim they can't get done because of evil conservatives foiling their efforts. Think about if liberals could do for a car company what liberals did for talk radio with Air America! Why, it would be like the wondrous (although now sadly defunct) conglomerate British Leyland, with none of the charm!

And it would give them something to do instead of protesting everything. They might even figure out how to melt steel with fire.

[End of the day Update! I forgot the most impressive part of this whole scheme--it's obvious that these Liberalmobiles would be highly successful NASCAR racers, seeing as how all they'd be able to do is make left turns! And that annoying high-pitched whine isn't just from straight-cut gears, either!]

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 17, 2007 09:48 AM

But where, oh where, would Steevil buy a new car?

Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) at April 17, 2007 01:10 PM

Chrysler Ladas! Yeah! What a terrific idea.

Posted by: Nate at April 17, 2007 01:21 PM

Steevil, you could still get yourself a fine car, and you'd do you conscience good, too. And you'd be able to get a lot of exercise pushing it to and fro.


Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 17, 2007 01:26 PM

The cars could be powered by Global Warming! Just think, driving would be GOOD for the environment. We would be reversing all those nasty hydrocarbons and yicky things.

Posted by: Diane at April 17, 2007 01:37 PM

And they'd be made completely out of HEMP!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 17, 2007 01:51 PM