April 16, 2007


So, Friday Middle Girl had to put in an appearance to cheer on the varsity soccer team, so I took off early and dropped her off at the park, then went and got some gas and a car wash (the car wash was required in order to make it rain--it never fails), and then stopped at the car parts place to buy some gasoline treatment. I put a can of this stuff in the car every few thousand miles to keep it clean inside, although I have no way of knowing if it actually works, seeing as how the inside of the engine is very dark and confined.

But, I will tell you this right now.

Do not buy a small bag of cheese curls at the gas station, then go to the parts store and buy gasoline additive, then open the additive and have to stick your finger into the neck of the bottle to pull out the little soft metal seal, then put the additive in your tank, then get in the car and start driving, then get some cheese curls out of the bag and eat them, then decide to lick the happy orange cheese powder off of your finger, especially if it's the same finger you used to pull the little soft metal seal out of the bottle of gasoline additive, BECAUSE you will surprise yourself with just exactly how effective this stuff must be, if it does to carbon deposits and varnish even a portion of what it does to the lining of your mouth.

Let me tell you--the stuff has quite a whang to it.

The instant I took a big slurp off my index digit, I felt very good about having abused myself all these years by going on and on about what a big moron I am. Because I am a big moron.

Anyway, in accordance with the product directions (assuming I still had them and hadn't thrown them away at the car parts store) I proceeded to dilute the material with several large swigs of Diet Coke. Nothing like the combined effects of phenylalanine and petroleum distillates, sweetened middle petroleum distillates, polyether amine, solvent naphtha, and naphthalene to put a smile on your face.*

Back to the soccer park, stood over by the bleachers on the player side of the field with Rebecca and her friends, then afterwards (we won, by the way, 7-0) it was off to the house, which was empty. Reba had gone and gotten the kids from her mom's house, then came and got Oldest, and they all went to the craft store to buy junk for Jonathan's science project and then on to the grocery store for groceries.

SO, Bec and I got the laundry together, and I got to christen the new laundry machinery with full loads of clothes.

They both work very well--everything smells much better. I think the old one wasn't getting stuff clean enough.

ANYway, everyone finally got home and we unloaded stuff and had some pizza and cleaned up, and announced to everyone that I was not in the mood to be woken up early on Saturday.

As if.

*Not really--this crap's harmfully fatal if swallowed in sufficient amount, so don't go mixing your own cocktails with it.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 16, 2007 09:46 AM

"the same finger you used to pull the little soft metal seal out"

Terry, Terry, Terry... up here in North Georgia, we have a little doohicky called a "pocketknife" that we use for such things.

Silly possum!

I have found that food does taste different in the summer, primarily due to the added seasonings of diesel fuel, hydraulic fluid and grease that it seems no amount of gojo will remove from my hands from May until September.

Posted by: Dave at April 16, 2007 10:41 AM

Considering what you ingested, and the motor vehicle laws of Alabama, you may need to consider some emissions testing ... for you, not the vehicle.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING NOT-SO-COMPLETELY UNRELATED - Have you tried the Coke Zero or did I miss your post on it? Would you consider changing over from your current DC elixir? I was thinking of trying that for my household, but I don't know if my wife would like that or not. I have tried Coke Zero and it's OK.

Posted by: Marc V at April 16, 2007 10:45 AM

Dave, must you continue to flout your superiority!? I've already admitted to being a moron, and your statements only serve to rub salt in the wound. Or industrial solvent into the mouth. Fact is, I had access to two pocket knives and two rings full of keys I could have used, had I been thinking.

Had I been thinking.

And Marc, I figure what they don't know won't hurt them. Much. As for Coke Zero, yes, I have tried it, and it's pretty good, although a little sweeter than I like. In the Splenda-sweetened category, I actually like the Pepsi One variety better than Coke Zero. But I still like DC best.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 16, 2007 10:57 AM