January 05, 2007

Nick Saban FYI

Okay, everyone has had a couple of days to get used to the new guy, but I know there are some who still have some questions about the new Tide coach.

Now, I'm an Auburn fan, and I have no doubt that if I tried to do a humorous listing of things talking about what a crappy coach he is, no one would give it much thought. Why? Well, we might as well admit it--he is a good coach, and Alabama really should have a better season next year, and so anything negative I say would just sound like I have an inferiority complex or am eating sour grapes.

SO, in the spirit of welcoming a worthy competitor to the our fine state, I have taken it upon myself to do some actual research and find out some of the good qualities and things about Coach Saban that you may not be aware of, and present them in a way that will be most appealing to our brothers and sisters of the Crimson Nation.

SO, here we go:

1. Saban was born October 31, 1951 in Fairmont, West Virginia to Lara Lor-Van and Jor-El Saban.

2. "Nick" is actually Coach Saban's nickname, oddly enough. His actual given name is Snickerdoodle Bimpleydoo.

3. Nick Saban won an Academy Award for his appearance in 1983's Terms of Endearment.

4. Teams coached by Nick Saban have never lost a single game, and in at least five of the games, Saban himself played.

5. Upon the announcement of Saban's hiring, a heavenly host appeared in the sky above Bryant-Denny stadium and sang "Yea Alabama," and then chanted "Rammer Jammer."

6. Nick Saban has met with Iraqi Police Captain Jamail Hussein and offered him a scholarship, hoping to use him as either a strong safety or possibly a wide receiver.

7. Coach Saban has solved Fermat's Last Theorum in at least three different ways.

8. Nick Saban calendars sell in greater numbers than all kitten calendars combined.

9. Coach Saban invented the charged-couple device, or CCD, integral to all modern video equipment, then allowed all royalties from his patents to be directed to a charity to help kittens and sweet old grandmothers.

10. Nick Saban does not have an evil twin named Nabas Kcin.

11. Nick Saban's haircare products are all biodegradable and kitten-friendly.

So, there you are. Welcome to Coach Saban and his family, and we hope you've enjoyed learning more about them.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at January 5, 2007 09:00 AM
Comments

Did he really come to Alabama because no matter what he says tommy is still a bigger liar? Not that I still remember anything about that.

Posted by: jim at January 5, 2007 10:29 AM

No, that is incorrect. He came to Alabama because Pat Robertson appeared to him in a vision and told him to take the job.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at January 5, 2007 10:43 AM

So "Nick" is an abbreviated form of "Snickerdoodle"? The things one learns from Possumblog!!

Posted by: Stan at January 5, 2007 11:44 AM

I doubt I'd like Miami much, either. And he burned his bridges here, so Tuscaloosa is a good place to go with enough money.

Les Miles has done a terrific job for LSU under extraordinary circumstances.

Posted by: Janis Gore at January 5, 2007 11:52 AM

Glad to be of service, Stan. And yes, Janis, he has, and he can feel free to stop it anytime he wants.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at January 5, 2007 12:03 PM

Goux Tigers! I see the PTB fired the footyball coach up here in NOLANorth. He just signed a umptybazillion dollar contract too a year ago. Maybe in a year or so he and Nick can get together and compare their bank accounts and firings.

Posted by: Chef Tony at January 5, 2007 11:09 PM

And they can laugh and laugh and light cigars with $100 bills. Not that I'm jealous...

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at January 8, 2007 08:35 AM