All of this scorn--how does the 'Bama Nation stand it!? Maybe they have more spine than I thought...
Nah.
ANYWAY, it's time once more to heap derision and insults upon those silly Tide Pride folks so that they'll be so humiliated that they won't even be able to tie their shoes or put on their helmets come Saturday.
First, one for young Mike:
Several years back after being hired as the savior of the University of Alabama legacy, Mike Shula had just moved into his new office and was sitting at his new desk when he heard a knock on the door.
Conscious of his new exhalted position, Coach Shula quickly picked up the phone, told the visitor to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, Governor, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young man who was now standing before him, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir. I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
Next up, this:
One afternoon an Alabama player was walking along and saw a little boy playing in his yard. As the Bama player got closer, he saw that the little boy was playing with in a small pile of dog poop. Somewhat taken aback, yet still curious, he asked the little boy what he was doing.
"I'm making myself an Auburn football player," the youngster said. Bursting with malicious glee, the Crimson Tider said, "OH, I see! And why are you building an Auburn player?"
""Cause I ain't got enough to build an Alabama player."
Finally, a favorite from yesteryear:
An Auburn fan was hunting when he came across an exhausted Alabama fan sitting on a log with a huge buck at his feet. "Nice deer you got their, friend!"
The Alabama fan thanked him, but said, "It sure is gettin' heavy, though, and I'm tired somethin' terrible. Been workin' to drag him out to the road for nearly an hour."
The Auburn fan noticed that the Alabama hunter had been dragging the deer by the hind legs, and made a suggestion, "You know, if you drag him by his antlers, it'll be easier because his hair will lay down instead of raising up as you drag him.
With a look of utter contempt, the 'Bama fan bitterly mocked the Auburn fan and said, "You dummy--I'm tryin' to drag him OUT of the woods, NOT back IN!
MORE SCORN TOMORROW!
Posted by Terry Oglesby at November 15, 2006 02:49 PM