November 15, 2006

I don't usually pass along e-mails...

But this one from famed NASA rocket scientist (and son) Steevil is darned funny.

SUBJECT: Ahhhhh.... sons!

For those of us who have sons & those who are happy that you don't. You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

You say that like it's a bad thing.


The PHOTO SECTION that preceded the written part is even better. This isn't all of them, since a couple of them were a bit too outlandish (although not the least bit unbelievable). Click here--I had to make a separate html file for it because I couldn't get the pictures copied as jpegs for some reason (i.e., incompetence).

Posted by Terry Oglesby at November 15, 2006 09:12 AM

...and father of 3 boys.

Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) at November 15, 2006 09:48 AM

Do any of these things sound familiar, Steve?

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 15, 2006 09:50 AM

My dad sent that email and pictures to me. He thought it sounded too familiar after rearing his 4 boys.

Posted by: Nate at November 15, 2006 10:09 AM

And I'll ask YOU the same question, Nate--any of that sound familiar? :)

I must confess the picture of the kid with the knife and the electrical outlet is vaguely familiar to me...

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 15, 2006 10:39 AM

Some of those tings are not just for boys. My mother once used her mother's sewing scissors to cut a lamp cord. A plugged in lamp (It was too hard to unplug, hence the scissors). Shocked her little butt across the room and melted a hole in the scissor blades.

Posted by: Sarah G. at November 15, 2006 11:55 AM

When Tim was really little, he got one of my keys and stuck it into a power strip. It blew the circuit breaker, melted part of the key, and turned his hands black. He wasn't hurt at all, but our pastor said his angel was probably having a bad hair day.

Posted by: Kathy at November 15, 2006 11:56 AM

What is it with electricity?

All I know is that my kids have never been even slightly interested in poking things in the outlets. I guess I should be glad, yet I wonder why that part of my genetic makeup didn't get passed along.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 15, 2006 12:22 PM

MMM, bobby pins.

My mother caught me before I could.

Posted by: Janis Gore at November 15, 2006 12:32 PM

My kids like keys. I remember the time I was at my inlaws. I had just put safety covers on all the outlets when Jake (at about a year)snatched up a set of keys, marched over to an outlet and tried to stick them in. Before that my inlaws thought I was a bit obessive about outlets, afterwards they understood.

Posted by: Sarah G. at November 15, 2006 12:50 PM

I stuck the ends of a wire coiled around a nail into a socket when I was 8 or 9, so I knew what to watch out for. When my oldest realized that the terminals on two 9-volt batteries fit together nicely (and sometimes produced a nice flash), we started buying Radio Shack experiment kits to keep him busy (and keep him at low voltage).

Our youngest used a cable cutter on a plugged in lamp cord, but the handles were insulated, so he didn't hurt himself.

Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) at November 15, 2006 01:17 PM

All I will say is the keys to a '75 Valiant will unquestionably conduct electricity, and I believe they will also short out a toaster.

(Oh, and your additional html does not like Firefox.)

Posted by: skinnydan at November 15, 2006 01:44 PM

Sorry, Skinnydan. Having viewed my whole site on Firefox, I'll have to say they don't work well together at all. It's really goofy looking. Here at work, with my old timey 800x600 monitor and ancient copy of Internet Expoder, it looks the way I want it to.

I guess everyone just need to come and sit in my office and read.

And, there's a whole BUNCH of electrical outlets!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 15, 2006 01:47 PM

It doesn't like Safari either...

That being said, when bigger brother was a wee lil' feller (long before I came along) Sis was watching the Beatles on tv, bigger brother was not happy about this as A) he wanted to watch Lassie or F-Troop or something of that nature and B) even as a lil feller, bigger brother HATED the Beatles, hence his trip to the hospital for taking a pair of sissors to the tv cord...

didn't hurt him, but like the before mentioned stories, it did knock all the way 'cross the room.

Posted by: Dave H at November 15, 2006 09:08 PM

and on a related note, I am not a parent, so I have no idea whether this is good advice or not, but...

several years ago, Sis had a foster child who had a thing about wanting to stick things into the electrical outlets. She was lucky, because she caught him before he found conductive materials to try out. She was naturally concerned about this and mentioned it to me, whereupon I had a brainstorm.

Turns out the little guy was terrified of storms (thunder, lightning, etc.) So I sat him down and told him he shouldn't mess with the outlets because they had lightning in them.

She never had another problem with him messing with the outlets again. So at least once in my life, I may have done something right...

Posted by: Dave H at November 15, 2006 09:16 PM

I bet he didn't do that one again.

And as for your wise instruction, I think it was exactly right--just be careful standing out in the open when you're in the middle of a brainstorm.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at November 16, 2006 08:14 AM