October 05, 2006

Animals in the News!

Mad deer disease may spread with saliva

Okay, no kissing any more deer for me.

Penguins being sold to Canadian buyer

BLAST! And DRAT!! It seems Possumblog Kitchens is dealing with a competitor trying to get into the flightless bird snack market. Never fear, however. I predict sales of Cornguins, the cornbread-battered and deep-fried Emperor penguin on a stick treat beloved by millions, will continue to be available at an economical price. We've just purchased another penguin farm in Eufaula, and that combined with our main ranch in Greenville will ensure that you and your family are provided the highest-quality penguin possible.

Hmm? Not that kind of penguin? A hockey team?

Never mind.

Next: Streaming video records sea lions' lives

If popular enough, look for Disney to release The Sea Lion King for the Christmas movie season.

And finally--Remains of ancient reptile are found

Disputing the discovery, White House press doyenne Helen Thomas said the report was insulting, noting that she was very much still alive.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at October 5, 2006 01:49 PM
Comments

But they didn't say how many Norwegian paleontologists were eaten by polar bears during the project. Svalbard (aka Spitzbergen) is overrun with the critters.

Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) at October 5, 2006 02:02 PM

No, that's impossible Steevil. Everyone knows that all the polar bears drowned due to global warming.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at October 5, 2006 02:10 PM

I would think *not* kissing your dear would spread mad dear disease.

Posted by: Diane at October 5, 2006 02:27 PM

That Helen Thomas crack was so wrong. She looks nothing like a reptile and I am sure a goodly percentage of our cold blooded friends are upset that you assert such a thing.

I always thought she looked like a perpetually constipated gnome.

Posted by: Larry Anderson at October 5, 2006 02:38 PM

Diane, I think my dear would see it as a relief.

And Mr. Anderson, I assure you there was no intent to malign the fine citizens of the reptile community. I understand your concern, but hope that the ability to laugh about such things will lead to greater dialogue and understanding between our species. I appreciate your sensitivity, but must also point out that the Gnome Antidefecation League has already lodged a protest regarding your own comparison of Ms. Thomas to one of their membership.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at October 5, 2006 02:51 PM

[whisper]PSSSST. Terry! You're supposed to apologize if anyone got offended![/whisper]

Posted by: skinnydan at October 9, 2006 09:01 AM

No, only certain people have to apologize, while OTHER people get to endlessly protest to GET an apology.

We gnomes have to stick together.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at October 9, 2006 09:07 AM