August 22, 2006

Well, there's one you don't hear every day...

Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia

One wonders which group of Aggrieved-Americans will be the first to speak out about this bit of reportorial defamation--psychos, killers, or terrorists?

Anyway, seems Oly's got problems that even the Ledbetter boys would have difficulty handling. One thing worth considering--all you urban dwellers who might say something like this:

[...] "We used to love the raccoons. They'd have their babies this time of year, and they were so cute. Even though we lived in the city, it was neat to have wildlife around," he [Tony Benjamins]said, "but this year, things changed. They went nuts." [...]

--just remember that they aren't little humans, despite what years of Disney movies might have led you to believe. They're wild animals, and you need to leave them alone.

Or make them into a hat.
davy crockett.jpg

Posted by Terry Oglesby at August 22, 2006 10:16 AM

You mean all those Lazy Boy commercials are wrong?!?! They don't sneak into my house after I go on vacation and watch TV and drink my coke? They don't sneak my car to the drive through window and order a happy meal?? This story has ruined my image of raccoons.

Posted by: Tex at August 22, 2006 11:46 AM

I didn't say they weren't sneaky little thieves, I just said they weren't humans.

Think of them as very short Congressmen.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 22, 2006 11:54 AM

Cats on the other hand will watch TV and drink your coke. I checked on Meryl's cats yesterday and you could tell Tig was quite peeved that I had interupted his fun. I even posted a few pictures.

Oh and Lightning makes me think of Gracie.

Posted by: Sarah G. at August 22, 2006 01:19 PM

However, it is much less politically correct to make hats out of them.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 22, 2006 01:24 PM

Hmmm, Snakes on a Plane ... how about Raccoons on a Railway? Possums on a Pontoon? Killer possums baring their teeth at unwitting passengers has got to be scary.

If you can get the movie situated somewhere north of Minneapolis, then the townspeople could cry "They yust went noots!" A B-ham location would have its charm, as well as the ability to add local "colorful" characters like Taylor Hicks (who looks like he already has a possum on his head).

Posted by: Marc V at August 22, 2006 01:35 PM

I wondered last week why there were no movies with killer poisonous possums on a means of public conveyance, and now I see that it's just because they aren't psycho enough. Danged raccoons have all the luck.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 22, 2006 01:49 PM