August 21, 2006

Good Morning!

I'm barely able to stay awake! That's why I keep using exclamation points! They are SO loud, you know!

Anyway--or should I say, ANYWAY!--it was a not particularly worksome weekend, but there was enough crammed in there to give me a bad case of the slows this morning. Probably started at 8:06 Saturday morning. Seems that although my wife was miffed that her mother called LAST weekend at 8:30 and woke us all up, she herself has no compunction about letting others sleep if she's already awake. SO, up she gets, and rather than be quiet and let her poor hubby luxuriate in slumber on the one day of the week he's not required to get up at 5:30 a.m., she proceeds to go get the laundry baskets.

Being slightly awake, I knew when I heard her shuffle past the foot of the bed that the next sound would not be pleasant. For some reason--probably because she learned it from her mother--she cannot simply place something. It must be dropped. It MUST make noise or else it's as if it hasn't been officially delivered. At least I was kind of awake this time, as opposed to those times when she arrives upstairs and BLAM! drops the empty plastic baskets on the tile of the bathroom floor. BLAM! BLAM! BUMP! SCRAPE! When I'm not expecting it, it's like hearing a gunshot. When I AM expecting it, it's like hearing a gunshot, but at least it's one you think you can duck and miss.

So, here she comes, and sure enough BLAM! SCRAPE! BLAM!BLAM!

I dozed back off for half a second as she transferred the clothes from the hamper to the baskets--which ALSO somehow managed to be loud. How can cloth be loud!? Anyway, back off to alpha-wave state for a moment then all of the sudden BUMP-CRACK! WHUMMA- THUMPA!THUMPA!THUMPA!THUMPA!

Yet another odd habit picked up from her mom. The inability to open anything slightly resistant to being opened. In this case, the shower door. It's a bit tricky, in that it does hang up a bit (from abuse), but the trick (which I have demonstrated on numerous occasions) is that you have to lift under the door handle just a bit as you open it, and then the magnetic strip on the frame releases easily and quietly. If you just yank on the handle (as some are wont to do) the door bows out dramatically and then suddenly releases and begins to wobble and vibrate wildly and make a tremendous amount of loud ANNOYING noise.

But, you know, she had to get that bathcloth off the grab bar.

No use trying to sleep. I got up and got on my grass cutting clothes so I could go outside and crank up the mower and get some peace and quiet.

Epilogue: I came in after getting the front yard done about an hour later, walked upstairs to find Jonathan, walked in our bedroom and found Miss Reba asleep on the bed. And yes, I let her sleep. Although I do think I'm going to make a request next Friday night that on the next day she get all of her sleeping done early, rather than getting everyone up, then going back to bed.

Now then, time for a nap.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at August 21, 2006 08:43 AM

I feel your pain, but for a somewhat different reason. Yesterday at 5:00 pm we were in bumper to bumper traffic funneling into one of the 2 bridges over the Cape Cod Canal. Made it home about 1:30 this am.

Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) at August 21, 2006 08:49 AM

Time for a nap for you, too.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 21, 2006 08:55 AM

Naps are good.

Posted by: Sarah G. at August 21, 2006 10:38 AM

It was, at least until our impolite secretary came around and nearly drove her fist through my door knocking on it to tell us there was a staff meeting.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 21, 2006 10:46 AM

Staff meetings - where the art of napping with eyes open can be perfected.

Of course you can look somewhat silly when someone has to nudge you to get a response, but hopefully you have some good "pat" answers:

- I was thinking of the impact on the bottom line.

- Let's do it right the first time.

- Sorry, just stategerizing on another project.

- Is it 5 o'clock yet?

Posted by: Marc V at August 21, 2006 12:14 PM

Bottom line?! In a government job!? Not to mention the idea of anyone actually thinking about anything!

Let's do it right the first time!? We can't even GET to the first time, because of all the meetings!

Strategerizing? We don need no steenkin strategery!

Is it 5 o'clock yet!? As if anyone around here WOULDN'T know when it was quitting time!

No, the only necessary response is to grunt. If you do not grunt, a mirror is held to your nose to determine if you should be sent back to your desk, or promoted.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at August 21, 2006 12:22 PM