July 28, 2006

Ask Dr. Possum

Questions? Oh, sure---people come here all the time for answers to questions. Because they know that I am a highly qualified and skilled doctor of some sort*, and they KNOW they can get the right answer. Such as the person who landed here by wondering Is it okay to eat a tomato that a mouse took a bite out of?

Believe it or not, ALL tomatoes sold in the United States are REQUIRED to have a bite taken out by a mouse to ensure the product is safe!

Hmm?

Oh, okay--so that's not really true. BUT IT COULD BE!

Anyway, from purely a practical standpoint, aside from it being really creepy to find nibble marks, you really have to figure that tomatoes out in the field probably have all sorts of critters a'biting on them before YOU get them in the store. If the bite was big enough to notice, I would probably not eat it, just to keep from getting all weirded out by the thought of a greasy little rodent scampering all over the tomato with his nasty little clawed feet and his hairy little plague infected body. But hey, that's just me. No telling how many things we eat that have been bitten on without even realizing it. Well, until we come down with an inexplicable disease.

In a not quite scientific related vein, we have a young reader who came by recently wanting to know: "what kind" of bracelets should 7th graders wear Judging strictly based upon the 7th graders with whom I have come into personal contact, I would suggest a pair of Smith & Wesson Model 300P Hinged Nickel Handcuffs with Push Pin Double Locking System.

NOW THEN--we open the comment lines for any of the rest of you who have any sorts of problems requiring a doctor's* attention, ask away, and remember--this advice is worth twice what you pay for it!

*Disclaimer--there is very strong circumstantial evidence that Dr. Possum is not actually a doctor, so it is advised that you not heed anything he says unless it's true. And maybe not even then.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at July 28, 2006 09:41 AM
Comments

Should I invest in high quality straight jackets for any upcoming family trips or should I just go for the tried and true standby, duct tape.

Oh and this is to used on the children, not the adults.

Posted by: Sarah G. at July 28, 2006 09:49 AM

Sarah, if it squawks or squirms, duct tape is the solution. Cheap, refill available nearly everywhere and easier to store in the car trunk than bulky straitjackets.

Posted by: Nate at July 28, 2006 09:53 AM

Sarah, straitjackets have the benefit of being reusable and can be easily laundered, while duct tape, although acceptable in an emergency, does have the annoying habit of sticking to itself and other things not requiring restraint.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at July 28, 2006 09:54 AM

My colleague Dr. Nate's point about economy of use and storage space being well taken.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at July 28, 2006 09:56 AM

The reusability of a straight jacket vs economy and ease of use duct tape were my main concerns.

Of course an ideal solution would be a transporter beam, but sadly they are not availble.

Posted by: Sarah G. at July 28, 2006 10:43 AM

Always makes me think of this image.

Posted by: Janis at July 28, 2006 10:59 AM

A slight correction, Sarah--transporter beams are not available for home use. The FDA and the FTC are still reviewing them.

As for things I think of when I think of duct tape, this is usually what I think of.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at July 28, 2006 11:14 AM

Not to change the subject or nuttin' ...

Dear Dr. Possum:

What's your opinion about filling automobile tires with nitrogen gas rather than good ol' air? Is it worth the extra $5/tire? I just heard about this the other day and at first it struck me as rather "fru-fru", but then I could see some good points to it, primarily maintaining tire pressure (low leakage).

[Plus you could get a bumper sticker:
I'M RIDING HIGH ON NITROGEN!]

Posted by: Marc V at July 28, 2006 11:52 AM

Marc, let's think about things this way--air is already 78% nitrogen, and mostly free, except for the cost to pump it into your tires. Paying FIVE BUCKS A TIRE for 22% more of something that's already almost free should cause the BS Meter to click all the way over to the "Must Have Eaten a Freight Car Full of Ex-Lax" side of the scale.

Race teams use nitrogen to run their compressed air tools because it (unlike me) doesn't retain moisture, causing tools to operate poorly. And without the moisture, nitrogen is more efficient (read faster) when spinning a rotary tool like a lug wrench. In a race, tenths of a second advantages are important, but really not so much when you’re sitting in traffic. The lack of moisture in nitrogen is also an important feature in race tires so that they don't have to deal with the pressure effects of heat on any trapped moisture. To a regular driver, it’s not a bit deal, but enough to make a difference in extreme usages such as race tires, or something like long-haul truck tires.

This does, however, seem to be a hot thing and there are a bunch of articles out there about the practice. The reasoning many people use is that oxygen in air degrades rubber, and oxygen contributes to aluminum oxidation, both of which are technically true.

But another thing to think about?

WE LIVE IN AIR.

You might have lots of sparkly clean nitrogen INside your tires, but the OUTSIDE is where the vast majority of rubber decay occurs, because not only are tires exposed to the demon of air, but also atmospheric pollutants such as ozone, the effects of UV light, and not to mention curb and pavement damage.

I would suggest that instead of spending that money that you simply send it to me. I can use it a lot more than the service station guy who's selling it to you. Keep your tires properly inflated, even if it means checking them more than once a year. (Once a week is actually best.) If you don’t want to go to the service station to use their rip-off 50 cent air hose, buy yourself a small compressor made just for airing up tires.

And again, send the money you saved directly to me.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at July 28, 2006 12:41 PM

The air hoses are 75 cents around here.

Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) at July 28, 2006 12:56 PM

HIGHWAY ROBBERY!! I understand it costs money to provide the machinery and hoses and such, but if you're going to be consciencious about tire inflation, it really pays to get your own little compressor--even better is one that runs off of your 12v cigarette lighter outlet. Keep it in the car, and you might be able to use it in an emergency, or use it to air up a spare tire that's gone flat while stored in the trunk.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at July 28, 2006 01:04 PM

I saw this article (after a little googling) about using nitrogen for tires, and it seemed pretty persuasive. But then again, they are trying to sell the nitrogen filling system!

Using nitrogen appeals to the lazy man in me (he usually wins over the git-r-done guy), but it seems like one of those things that some guys do just to be all that, like filling up with premium gas when it's not necessary.

[I have been sending money ... hmmm, wonder how Chad the E-mail Boy has been affording those spiffy uniforms lately?]

Posted by: Marc V at July 28, 2006 01:19 PM

Again, for fleet applications where a few pennies saved can translate to a big overall savings, it's worth it. Then again, fleet managers are more likely to have their own nitrogen equipment, rather than having to rely on some dude at Costco.

AS FOR CHET the E-Mail Boy, I know it couldn't be him, because he isn't allowed to touch the regular mail now after that incident last year where he tried to send his Congressman a sample of Gold Bond foot powder.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at July 28, 2006 01:30 PM

Air is 50 cents here except for the sole remaining place that has it free. My dad used to tell me when he worked at a filling station back in the 1930’s they had a customer who would come in about every three months and have the boys let all the air out of his tires and then refill them claimed the air got stale and caused the rubber to erode.
Of course Dad liked to drink and tell funny stories.

Posted by: jim at July 28, 2006 02:30 PM

Jim, many years ago, when I was a young AF troop, several of us convinced the most gullible among us that the air needed to be changed out of his tires every summer and winter.

This most gullible character was observed later that same day at the base gas station, letting the air out of each tire, one by one, and refilling them! He didn't even put a jack under the car, just let the tire down on the rim and started over with fresh air!

Posted by: Nate at July 28, 2006 02:38 PM

My Dad might ahve trained his father back inWWII. He said they did the same thing. Also that the tires seemed to last a long time.

Posted by: jim at July 28, 2006 04:22 PM

One could always buy a tire pump and get all the almost free after paying for the pump air that they want, of course. We bought one when we drove the highway formerly known as the Al-Can and have had many, many occasions to use it for both regular maintanence of tire pressure and things like getting me from the parking lot where I found the flat tire to Sam's where they could change the tire without my getting all hot, sweaty and dirty.

Posted by: Jordana at July 28, 2006 04:45 PM

You say "all hot, sweaty and dirty" like it's a bad thing...

Posted by: Dr. Possum at July 28, 2006 04:55 PM

It's all about context...

Posted by: Jordana at July 28, 2006 05:25 PM