June 20, 2006

Ask Dr. Possum!

It's been a very long while since our resident physician*, Dr. Possum, dropped by for a house call. For those of you who've been sick and waiting for his arrival, please accept our apologies and feel free to now send in your questions to him for a swift and accurate answer**.

As you all know, Dr. Possum has a curriculum vitae*** of a breadth and depth and girth unmatched by his peers--if he HAD any peers--and so any question you might have not only on health matters, but also of matters philosophical, social, or mechanical, he stands ready to weigh in with his weighty, uhh, words? Yeah, that'll do.

ANYWAY, in order to prime the pump, so to speak, we have this missive from a certain Jordana A., of Tennessee, who asks:

I have a question about lawnmowers.

I know you got a new one in the not too distant past -- when do you decide it is time to replace and not repair the old lawnmower? Does it have to quit entirely or does the trail of blue smoke from burning oil and the fact that it shakes off several bolts every time you run it (leading one to wonder why we don't find screws and bolts all over the yard from the weekly replacement of said items) seem to indicate that the old Murray is due for the great lawn in the sky?

I'm tending to think this might be the last season for the mower that came with the house. Justin isn't necessarily opposed to the idea of getting a machine that is less rattley and smokey. The main difficulty is knowing whether money would be better applied towards taking it in for a good overhaul with someone who knows more about small engine mechanics than my husband, who has tried all the usual things like changing filters and replacing spark plugs and putting in fuel stabilizer, or if it is just time to give up on the thing and move on.

An excellent question--which means it's a shame you're asking Dr. Possum, but here goes.

For some reason, I have found that it seems that once lawnmowers start running badly, there's not much short of a complete teardown that will make them run well again. Which means it's usually cheaper just to get a cheapo Wal-Mart model. The last one I had got to where I couldn't just get it cranked easily, and the sheet metal covering around the self-propelling feature was just torn to shreds, making it nearly impossible to push. As for shaking and rattling, I do remember fondly one cheaply made push-mower I had, the blade of which was so misbalanced that it vibrated so much that the engine started tearing loose from the mower deck. I finally gave up on that one when the crack in the deck went entirely round the engine, causing it so come completely adrift from its moorings. Anyway, donate your mower to the thrift store, and treat yourself to new one.

I suggest a nice riding one like this, which is environmentally-friendly, and very easy to operate.

Now then, who else has a question for the doctor?!


Disclaimers:

*Dr. Possum is a real doctor, although his credentials are recognized only by an imaginary licensing organization. Do not actually heed his advice unless it turns out to be accurate.

**Swift and Accurate Guarantee: The SAAG does not mean that the answers will indeed be received swiftly, nor that they will be accurate, nor in fact, that they will be answers at all.

***Curriculum vitae is not available at this time.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 20, 2006 10:36 AM
Comments

If Al Gore, inventor of the internet and Chief Envrionmental Noodge is being eaten by a rare Croatian Marmot, is there a way to make the Marmot's dining experience more enjoyable?

Posted by: Skinnydan at June 20, 2006 11:22 AM

Well, obviously, candy sprinkles.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at June 20, 2006 11:44 AM

If one finds one's self stranded on a deserted island (that has plenty of food and water) with Al Gore, Madeline Albright and Roy Moore and one has a gun but only bullet, who does one shoot?

Posted by: Larry Anderson at June 20, 2006 12:31 PM

This one is difficult, in that as a physician, I find it against my Hipor--Hypocar--that oath thingy I'm supposed to take--to advocate self-extinguishment. Yet, that appears to be about the only way to achieve any sort of relief from the situation you describe.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at June 20, 2006 12:54 PM

Now that's a riding mower that would actually work in our postage stamp sized front yard. Now all we need is a bunch of old parts and a welder! I see the potential for great fun and injury!

Posted by: Jordana at June 20, 2006 01:21 PM

Indeed so--and after the yard is freshly mown and hubby is bandaged up, it'll be time for a rousing game of lawn darts!

Posted by: Dr. Possum at June 20, 2006 01:28 PM

Dr. Possum,

Lee has asked for new wheels for her 16 year old Murray push mower. I bought two for Mother's Day. Would it be appropriate to buy the other two for the Fourth or should I wait until Christmas?

Posted by: Larry Anderson at June 20, 2006 01:47 PM

Well, that depends on if you want that grass to be cut. It's very important to give your wife the tools she needs to keep up with the yardwork, or the whole place will start to look seedy.

es, I realize spending 5 or 6 dollars apiece for the wheels might seem to be needless extravagance, but you really must ask yourself what's important in life--saving your money and having everyone point and whisper about your poor yard, or spending a few extra dollars and having a showplace!

Those old and damaged wheels can cause ruts in the yard and make the lawn-mowing difficult, creating a herky-jerky pattern.

Best to go ahead now and get them--don't even wait for the Fourth. It'll be your special gift to the special lady in your life. (I would let her put them on, though--no use overdoing it.)

Posted by: Dr. Possum at June 20, 2006 02:11 PM