May 30, 2006


You know, some people...

Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore party in Iowa

You know, when I read that, I kinda thought it was an odd place for celebrity partying--I mean, as far as I can figure, Iowa doesn't have a New York or a Los Angeles. And I imagine they LIKE it that way, especially if it means not having to hang around with a klatch of incredibly immature boors.

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Patrons at a West Des Moines bar were surprised when celebrity couple Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore showed up unannounced and partied until closing time at 2 a.m.

Kutcher is a native of the eastern Iowa town of Homestead and was visiting family with Moore and her daughter, Scout. They received a text message from Los Angeles-based disc Jockey, DJ AM — Adam Goldstein — who was performing at the nightclub Aura on Sunday evening, the couple told bar patrons.

Moore and Kutcher split their time between an isolated VIP booth and the DJ booth, where Kutcher jumped around enthusiastically.

He's just so kewl. And enthusiastic!

They drank Voss water, Red Bull, Heineken and Corona.

Make that SO kewl! Such unobtainable exotica! Of course, you know what they say, you can't really BUY Voss, et al., you can only RENT it!

And when Moore visited the restroom, the bar cleared it for her.

Heaven help her if she'd actually had to pee with a bunch of sloshed cornfed Iowa barflies! The indignity of it all!

Moore was not friendly to those attempting to take pictures, telling them to get away. Some patrons taking pictures were asked to leave the bar.

My goodness, people--can't she and her manchild mate enjoy the fruits of Bacchus and jump around enthusiastically without being pestered by camera-wielding Hawkeye rubes!?

As the bar was closing at 2 a.m. Kutcher tried unsuccessfully to arrange for a helicopter to take his family home.

"I contacted every pilot I know, and I couldn't get a hold of anyone with a helicopter," bar manager Mike Caudle said.

SHEESH! It just FIGURES, dude!

Kutcher also couldn't find a limo on short notice, so Caudle had his security personnel drive the group the 100 miles home in his Cadillac Escalade.

Poor, poor Demi and Ashton. They try so hard to be rilly kewl playmates to 15 year old Scout, and yet they just can't manage to overcome people's insensitivity to their special celebrity needs.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at May 30, 2006 12:37 PM