May 26, 2006

I had to--

--sneak away a bit early yesterday afternoon to get home so I could take Oldest over to the high school. It was graduation night, and she and the rest of the choir had a song to perform during the festivities.

Got there a bit earlier than we were supposed to, so I got to do some people watching. As usual, I continue to be mystified by mamas (or worse, mee-maws) who want to look like their daughters (or granddaughters). It's not quite so bad if you can actually pull it off, but when your skin looks like baked turkey wattle, there's not much that hair dye and collagen can help with. Oh, and if your upper torso looks like you have a pair of panty hose slung around your neck with two tangerines stuffed down in the toes, I think it's probably best not to wear a halter top.

ANYway, Oldest went on in and I waited around the gate to let the early crowd of people inside, then went and asked the young fellow at the gate if I needed a ticket just to go stand over to the side, explaining that my daughter was a choir person and I hadn't been told I actually needed a ticket in the first place. He got one of the teachers, who apologetically told me I needed a ticket to get in the gate, no matter if I was sitting or standing. Which was fine. I thanked him and told him I understood, and started figuring out how I could sneak in, when suddenly I heard a shout behind me. Some nice lady had gotten in and found out that they didn't need one of their tickets--whoever was going to use it wasn't going to show up--so she let me use it. How nice of her! I thanked her and the fellows at the gate, and then went and found a seat in the stands behind where the choir was sitting.

Waited, sweated, squinted. Finally, it all started and it was a nice ceremony, and about as dignified as these things can be expected to be nowadays. It was interesting, too, in that this was the first graduating class since we became our own school system. So, a bit of history I was a part of. The choir sung their song, and I thought maybe that would be it and we could head on home.

Nope.

I had gotten up and walked down to the ground level but they all went back and sat in their chairs. Hmm. Well, I could go BACK up and sit down, but that would look goofy, so I just stood and leaned, hoping maybe Oldest would get tired and come on.

Nope.

Stayed until the recessional, but we did manage to exit before all the cars started trying to get out of the Mall area.

Oddest part?

Well, I was standing down there on the ground minding my own business, absent-mindedly looking around, and over to the side I saw some girl who I thought looked almost exactly like fellow blogger Megabeth, whom I've had lunch with on several occasions and have even hugged at least twice, but what could she be doing at Hewitt's graduation?!

And it didn't quite look like her, but then again, it did. Same color hair, but she seemed more wispy. Megabeth is very thin, but it's muscular thin, and this girl seemed less muscular, but maybe it was just because she was thirty feet away. Or not. Well, surely it's not her.

Then I noticed she was waving in my general direction, but maybe she was just waving at at someone else--I mean, there's a couple thousand people there. But, what if it IS Megabeth!? And now I've just snubbed her!? Does she think I am deliberately ignoring her? BUT--what if it's just some girl who only looks like Megabeth, and if I go over there and say to her, "Hey, Beth! I couldn't tell if that was you or not," and then she screamed at me to go away because her name was Miranda or Kellie or even Beverly, I would feel like an even bigger idiot in front of a stadium full of people who, in actuality, didn't even know I was there.

And then, she came over and stood RIGHT NEXT TO ME, almost. She had started talking to a very young girl who was actually beside me, and even when she was a yard away from me, I STILL couldn't tell if I was seeing a stranger or a friend, and I couldn't just stand there and stare at her, but then if it WAS Beth, I couldn't just stand there and continue to ignore her as if I'd never seen her before, and in either case I had gotten so befuddled I wouldn't have known what to say if I could have managed to talk. I contented myself with trying to act nonchalant and looking repeatedly over to my left to see if I could look at her long enough to either eliminate her as a possible acquaintance, or confirm that I needed to strike up a conversation.

Isn't Beth taller? Well, uhh, maybe. Or not. Does she have a tiny mole on the right of her top lip? I--uhh, I don't kn--or maybe she does. But Beth has bigger muscles, right? Well, I don't know.

Dern.

So I spent the entire time just standing there like a dimwit, and never did come to any sort of conclusion. I wrote Megabeth this morning alternately apologizing for either being a heel for not saying hello, or for being a gigantic lunatic, but have not heard back yet on exactly what I am.

ANYway, it was over soon enough, and we made our exit and headed home.

No kitty.

The teacher we were supposed to be getting it from had said she would maybe drop it off yesterday afternoon, but she didn't. Maybe this morning. Or not.

It's all very confusing.

UPDATE: Only seconds after I posted this, I found that I had a message in my inbox from Megabeth herself: "I think I am frequently mistaken for other people. Last night, I was in the car riding back from Florida, so I couldn't have been at the H-T graduation at the same time. :)"

Whew. And welcome back!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at May 26, 2006 08:55 AM
Comments

Thanks! Now I'll be getting plastic surgery so that I will look more like Michael Jackson.

Posted by: megabeth at May 26, 2006 09:34 AM

One sure way to distinguish the Genuine Megabeth™ from all the poser wannabees is to offer them some screamin' hot salsa. The real deal will rip it from your hands and start chowing down.

Posted by: skillzy at May 26, 2006 09:41 AM

LaToya, Janet, maybe. But please, NOT Michael!

And Skillzy, I'll have to start carrying salsa with me, I suppose.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 26, 2006 09:54 AM

You don't already?

Posted by: skillzy at May 26, 2006 10:00 AM

Alas, no. It kept running out of my pockets and made me look like I'd been shot in the legs.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 26, 2006 10:18 AM

Silly possum.

You need the extra chunky salsa. It never runs, it ambles down your leg.

Posted by: Skinnydan at May 26, 2006 10:27 AM

Either that, or I need seep-proof pockets.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 26, 2006 10:36 AM