Possumblog

Well, bless their hearts.

Have you ever gone to an establishment, and been slightly backed up for time, and you'd really like just to get in, find what you need, buy it, and get out again in about five minutes?

And then, when you get to that establishment, you find that the staff is incredibly solicitous, and helpful to a fault, and thoughtful, and dutiful. And not particularly concerned about time per se, except in the concept of time as determined by something such as, oh, maybe a well-crafted sundial, made from a carefully whittled birch twig, but the carving of which first requires a lengthy explanation of the sun, and the earth, and the safety required of whittling, and of finding true north by using a compass and a set of small pebbles and a matchstick (matchsticks which are also made of wood, by the way), and then taking all those constituent parts, and building a device to accurately determine the time of day (within a tolerance of plus or minus two, or possibly two and a half, hours), and by which time as you've built your sundial, you find that the light of the sun is now so low that your sundial can no longer can be read, so you decide to build a cozy campfire and await the dawn to try it out, and in building that fire you must learn about combustion, and wood (of course) and safety with fire (of course) so that it is a good fire, and hot, and not one to cause a roaring forest fire, which would be terrible because it would probably mean not being able to test the sundial the next day because of having to flee the fire.

But, how could anyone be so mean and brusque as to remark about this deliberateness to someone? There's no use pointing out that the shirts are right there, and they have sizes conveniently printed on the label. And on the hanger. And the rack has those little size wheels around the bar. And that the shirts are all neatly arranged, unlike those you might find in a department store. Likewise the shorts. And the socks. And the caps. Why, that would just be crass to even think that possibly you could make your choices more quickly without such helpfully helpful help.

It's best to just allow nature to take its course. Like a mighty glacier rushing headlong down a crevasse at a blinding millimeter per decade, it is best to stand aside and not worry about being a half-hour or hour late back to work.

And just pray that the stuff doesn't have to be returned.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at May 16, 2006 01:46 PM