May 16, 2006

Jack Bauer Update!

I have no idea AGAIN!

In amongst the defective-electronic strife, there was also the issue of trying to get my work finished that I got called away from yesterday afternoon, and then there was a constant ebb and flow of children running into the bedroom to ask questions about an infinite variety of non-Jack Bauer-related topics, all asked while standing between me and the teevee. So I have no idea what's really going on.

BUT, we DID get to see Crazy First Lady Jean Smart silence a bad Secret Service guy who was beating up on her most favorite man in the world, Aaron the Impassive Bald Secret Service Guy, who is more manly than even Jack Bauer, but is too modest to have ever said it. And before all that, Aaron told President Machiavelli that he was bad and evil and a traitor, and not worthy of his respect. Which really frosted the Twerpresident.

In other things, Jack got to slap around the Weaselly DHS guy for erasing the tape, but not nearly enough, in that he didn't snap him in half and feed him to a tank full of sharks.

Brokenose Girl is looking hale and hearty again after having been suggested to chemical torture and nearly bleeding to death.

Chloe looks like she smells something REALLY stinky, probably related to a poison pill firewall.

There's more nerve gas and the Russian Bad Guy got loose and found his henchmen and took over a Russky sub in the harbor (and why it wasn't docked at the Van Nuys Airport I have NO idea) and they're a'gonna blast the whole city (of Van Nuys) with Roosian meesiles.

So, they're tracking everyone down, and copying that, and rogering, and NEXT WEEK IS THE FINAL EPISODE and Jack finally gets to point a pistol at the President and MEAN it, which means he'll probably wind up doing the decent thing and arresting him, rather than solving things The Cowboy Way, which should have been done about 10 episodes ago.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at May 16, 2006 10:05 AM
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