--and now my wife knows why she was suffering from lethealgia this past Saturday.
So, I was sitting here doing actual work stuff when I got a telephone call from Miss Reba.
Okay now, this next part might be a bit, errr, offputting to read, so skip it if you must. Although, if you do, you sorta miss out on some valuable information.
ANYway, sometimes, when you sit, and you're a guy, certain adjustments are occasionally called for in order to rearrange your seating position, as well as the position of various appurtenances and equipment, so that you can have optimal seating comfort while you talk. No one wants to be uncomfortable, right!?
Right.
So, as I leaned back a bit and felt that uncomfortable pain that told me that some of my troops were out of formation, I ordered SSGT R. Hand to go have a talking to and see if he could get everyone back the way they should be. Things seemed to be going well enough, when suddenly Sergeant Hand indicated SOMEthing wasn't right. NOT right at ALL!
"SIR! THE BARRACKS IS ABOUT TO COLLAPSE!"
Wha!? I had him reconnoiter some more, and he reported back that there seemed to be a giant gap in protection that went from just below Fort Zipper, across the summit of Hill 2-1, and very nearly all the way through the Thunder Valley!
In other words, while rearranging myself, I found that have a GIANT split in the seat of my pants. Pants that I have had on all day long. And that I have walked around in all day long. In front of people. People with eyes.
And at that moment when this realization occurred to me, I was still on the phone with Miss Reba.
"REBA! I JUST--I--I put my hand down to move the chair back some and MY PANTS HAVE A GIANT SPLIT IN THEM!"
"Uh, were they your black ones?"
"YES!!"
"Well, I had put those on the bed Saturday to show them to you, and I got sidetracked, and you know how I kept saying there was something I was trying to remember to tell you?"
"Uh, yeah..."
"Well, THAT'S what it was! Your pants have a big split in them! I bet you wondered what that cool breeze was!"
Yes, now that you mention it.
Oh well. At least she finally remembered.
Posted by Terry Oglesby at May 12, 2006 03:53 PMOoops. I hope you don't have to make any trips out and about before going home this evening.
Posted by: Jordana at May 12, 2006 04:12 PMWell, I hope you're happy.
Based on the burst of hysterical laughter (on or about the line, "SIR! THE BARRACKS IS ABOUT TO COLLAPSE!") the folks in the surrounding cubicles now know two things with 100% certainty. They know:
a) I'm not working
2) I'm clinically insane.
Up to now, I've been able to hide both of these facts (with varying levels of success).
I would suggest removing your shirt to wrap around your waist, but that brings a whole new set of problems with it, doesn't it?
Posted by: LittleA at May 12, 2006 04:25 PMJordana, you can rest assured if I do, I will be walking with a peculiar, close-legged gait.
And LittleA, I am very sorry to get you in trouble with your new coworkers. If you need to, go ahead and leave early so you can compose yourself.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 12, 2006 04:28 PMI am SO glad I didn't see this until I got home from work, and that I wasn't drinking anything at the time.
One can only hope that you weren't in such a hurry to get home tonight that you were pulled over for speeding and asked to get out of the car for a sobriety test...
Posted by: Diane at May 12, 2006 07:07 PMOh, not at all. Once in the car, everything was fine.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 13, 2006 09:26 AM