Well, see, I just found out that the insides of a digital copier are very hot. Yes, I know there's all those yellow warning labels that say that, but until you've tried to pull out a paper jam by gingerly (or maryannerly) poking your index fingers into the steaming bowels of one of these machines, you don't really get an idea of exactly HOW hot they are. But then, you hear your finger sizzle, and you think to yourself, "Ouch. That is hot." And the paper? Well, it won't burn until it hits 451 degrees, which means that when it's in the machine, it might be 449.3 degrees, which will also make your finger sizzle.
Add to this the fact that it's lunchtime and I'm having to tend to the copier queue at the moment, and it makes one's mind start working on some ways where this confluence of hot machinery and hunger could come together.
And so I thought up this: Edible Reports.
I figure you could saturate paper with flavor, sorta like the way McDonalds does with its breakfast burrito, and if you're hungry, you just go copy a report and eat it, hot out of the copier. And people you send reports to can heat theirs back up in the microwave! It would be tasty, and do away with all those big bins of recycled paper that clutter up the office. And just think what a boon this would be for poor countries--all those billions of sheets of paper the UN produces in reports on how to reduce world hunger could just be shipped over to hungry places and everyone could eat for months!
I am now casting about for partners in this venture--call now!
UPDATE: Well, dangitall--here I thought I was just being silly trying to pass the time while the copier was churning, but by gum(bo), there actually IS such a thing.
My finger still hurts, though.
Posted by Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2006 12:54 PMWouldn't this cause, er, excess fiber in the diet and all the issues therewith?
I'm not so sure I'd want to go out and pay big bucks for a paper dinner.
Posted by: Diane at May 3, 2006 02:33 PMYes, but think how much you'll save on toilet paper!
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2006 02:44 PMPerhaps if you used parchment paper it would work.
I burned myself last week but was too embarrassed to tell anyone—well until now.
Please, don't mention parchment paper.
As for embarrassment, well, I was just joking to see if anyone would admit to something like this. No foolin'!
I mean, this red mark is just ink...
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2006 03:05 PMRight—I think it must be in and later that red ink can actually change into something that looks like a blister.
However, my finger might be parchment paper because it really didn’t burn.
And I hope it didn't stink up the joint.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2006 03:12 PMJust to about the first knuckle.
Posted by: jim at May 3, 2006 03:37 PMMaybe the college can get you some of those nifty and stylish Ove Gloves that I keep seeing on the teevee!
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 3, 2006 03:59 PM