April 20, 2006

When Creepy Meets Stupid

Phony doctor gives free breast exams

MIAMI (Reuters) - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

Only THEN did she get suspicious!? LOOK AT THIS GUY!! I think I would have been a tad bit suspicious sometime BEFORE he started exploring my naughty regions.

The woman then phoned the Broward County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled. He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Lauderdale Lakes neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.

Nothing like perversionary perserverence.

The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.

At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.

Emphasis mine. In their 30s!? I could almost see this if they were confused little old ladies, but just exactly how oblivious do you have to be if THIS GUY shows up at your door and offers to polish your knockers!?

Or, could it be that these were some of those voters who couldn't figure out how to punch a hole in a piece of paper?

Winikoff was not a doctor, Graf said. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership.

If the shuttle van's a rockin'...

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 20, 2006 11:08 AM