April 04, 2006

Frankly, they deserve something a bit better than that.

As you are all aware, I am a devotee (some would add the adjective "fanatical" ahead of "devotee," but some people are just that way) of the snack food known as the cheese curl.

I just got a small bag out of the vending machine downstairs, of the variety produced by historic regional producer Golden Flake, and noticed something new on the outside of the package--a poem.

It reads like this:

When It's
Cheddar Cheese
You're After
But Want
A Crunch,
Golden Flake
Cheese Curls
Are Great To Munch!

Grab This Bag
To Start The Fun,
Golden Flake
Cheese Curls
Are #1!

Such an insipid bit of doggerel for such a fine product. I would like to suggest that something better be put on the bag, something BOLD and VISIONARY and LIVELY and, doggone it all, something AMERICAN.

Something like: IF YOU EAT CHEESE PUFFS YOU'RE A NO-GOOD COMMIE GOON!

There now. I feel much better.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 4, 2006 03:23 PM
Comments

How, precisely, does one "EACH" anything? And may I offer the following:

real men
eat Cheese Curls
The other type
are for girls.

And, for the ladies out there:

Nice girls
eat Cheese Curls.
Those other puffs
are for bits of fluff

Fine. It's not Whitman, exactly.

Posted by: skinnydan at April 5, 2006 07:00 AM

Oops. I got so angry my tongue got wrapped around my eyeteeth and I couldn't see what I was saying.

I think your verses are fine, except that cheese puffs aren't fit for ANYone, man or woman.

Posted by: Dr. Possum at April 5, 2006 07:21 AM