February 28, 2006

Yes, still hard at non-blogging.

I even took junk home to work on last night. Not that it interrupted me to see if Jack Bauer would get off the probation I placed on the show.

Thankfully, he was real good last night--AND CTU finally came to its senses and Section 112ed that stupid fat hobbit out of his job. All it lacked was him screaming about strawberries and rolling two ball bearings in his hand. I do have to wonder why they hire rent-a-cops to secure that place--they've got more firepower than the entire Army of Northern Virginia had, and they still get Tim and Ricky from Triple AAA Security GuAAArds to look after the joint. Thankfully, they knew Cowboy Curtis was The Man, and backed him up.

Nixon? Could they be even MORE obvious?! I knew the moment he slid off his divan that it was going to be that whole Nixon/Kissinger come-to-Jesus-meeting scene replayed. A bit less next time, okay writers? Anyway, it's about time someone accidentally hit him in the head and accidentally incapacitated him for a while so we can get something done about this nerve gas.

Brokenose Girl? I find her much MUCH hotter when she's angry than when she's mooning over Jack. I do wish she'd kneed Rudy at some point in there, because he deserves it.

Speaking of hot, next week The Hottest Bauer (i.e. Kim) returns. I just hope they don't let her start pushing buttons and junk, or she'll mess everything up.

'Splodey stuff? Had it in spades this week--them terrorists blowed up the Presidential limo real good, but NOT good enough to kill Loyal But Impassive Bald Headed Secret Service Agent, who it's obvious Crazy First Lady Jean Smart has a crush on, mainly because he is a real two-fisted man's man, as opposed to her husband, who not only is Nixon, but also a slimy little Quisling who should be hit in the head with a very VERY heavy object. Anyway, after CTU is FINALLY able to tip off the Secret Service about the plot against the motorcade, instead of running away fastly, these goombas jump out of armored limos and start blazing away with MP-5s. Guys, it should be obvious to you now not to jump out from behind secure cover and start blasting at guys who ARE behind cover. Good way to get peppered with birdshot, let me say. Anyway, they all get taken out and the terrorists come down with machine guns and start trying to blow up the rest of the blowed up limo and Crazy First Lady Jean Smart is a'hugging all over the Ruskie president and his Very Attractive Russian First Lady to keep them from getting hurteder, and then the terrorists get a flame-thrower after them! Which seems a bit silly, especially when Brave and Impassive Bald Headed Secret Service Guy recovers from being stunned by the 'splosion and rolls out the door and starts dropping bad guys like he's in a shooting gallery, and manages to start a bad guy barbecue when he lights off the tank of flammables the flame-thrower guy is carrying.

I like that Brave and Impassive Bald Headed Secret Service Guy a lot. I mean, not like the way CRLJS does, obviously. Really.

Other 'splodey stuff? Jack tries to find out where the nerve gas came from by visiting the place that made it, which just happens to be where some other guy who used to work at CTU now makes millions, except he's really another bad guy, but Jack's spidey sense must be broke, because he lets himself get zapped with a stun gun (which seems to knock him out much worse than being heart surgeried like he was a few seasons back) and then gets lured into a trap where the Bad CTU Guy leaves him locked up in a room with a notebook full of flashing LEDs. FLASHING LEDS!? WHY, THAT'S a BOMB! "Aw, poopie!" says Jack, and he understands where his daughter Kim gets her highly-tuned sense of getting herself into a jam.

BUT, being that this is television, we know that the Bad CTU Guy has to first call someone to explain everything, and rather than just kill Jack immediately, gives him several minutes to MacGyver his way out of yet another sure-death situation. Blows the door of the vault, and hides under the computer flooring. Slick! Although I do wonder why he never thought to use any of his fancy telecommunication devices, or why he didn't just slip the bomb out of the big louver on the wall.

Best line? Chubby Loser Friend of Chloe who says, "But that's illegal!" Someone give that pud a dopeslap and lock him up with the hobbit!

ANYway, next week, Return of Kim! And it's TWO HOURS LONG!

Now then, back to my self-imposed exile so I can do more dumb ol' work.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at February 28, 2006 08:49 AM