And I don't usually do that when it comes to my morning toilet. But today, I got sidetracked, and didn't realize it until I got to the middle school, but I forgot to shave this morning.
It really doesn't look good. It has none of the dashing, devil-may-care attitude of your various young Kevin "I Need to Bathe" Federline-types with their carefully cultivated oh-so-scruffy chin shadow, nor does it look like I'm growing a beard--it just looks like I'm an old forgetful guy. AND WHO WANTS THAT!?
It would be better if it weren't so very gray. I joke about my hair going gray, but it didn't realize just exactly how crotchety I've gotten until a few years ago when I grew a for-real beard in order to portray the Bible hero Gideon for Vacation Bible School. (For as we all know, Gideon was a mighty man, white and chubby, with blue eyes and glasses.) Anyway, I got the idea of trying to be a bit more authentic than the norm, so I let my face grow for about six weeks. First time I've ever grown a beard, and WHOA!
The effect was much less Earthquake McGoon, much more Pappy Yokum.
I looked like a fifty year old man, which there is nothing wrong with, IF you're a fifty year old man. It was quite a shock for someone still in his tender thirty-somethings. I figured then that there'd be no more of that foolishness for me, at least not without some of that goop that Keith Hernandez uses on his luxuriant manhair.
So, anyway, today, there it is, all over my face--patchy and white and itchy and bristly, making me look much more disheveled than usual. I thought about getting one of my X-Acto blades and making an attempt at it, but after that deal with the frozen biscuit dough, I suppose having a razor near my eyes or jugular would probably be courting trouble.
Posted by Terry Oglesby at January 20, 2006 01:30 PMLyman looks a good ten years younger without a beard. His is nearly white.
Posted by: Janis at January 20, 2006 02:03 PMI keep thinking when I actually do get to be convincingly old, I'll let it grow so kids will think I'm Santa Claus. The only problem is that Reba absolutely hated it.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at January 20, 2006 02:10 PMNeed some beard growing advice?
I mean, those who can't do, teach. Right?
Posted by: LittleA at January 20, 2006 03:35 PMRight! And since I'm not very bright, I am susceptible to any advice that purports to be from an authoritative voice. Hold on--lemme go get a pencil so I can write all this down...
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at January 20, 2006 03:45 PMNo play for Mister Grey.
Posted by: skillzy at January 20, 2006 04:41 PMWhere I stay,
There's little enough play,
Whether gray or nay.
What little there is would be even more thin,
were there any hair on my chin.
Possumshave.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at January 20, 2006 04:49 PM