Possumblog

Flat Tire Tips

I was walking out to my car in the parking deck last night, and noticed as I got closer that there was a car blocking one of the entrance chutes to the big loopy exit helix. People who aren’t familiar with the deck sometimes think they can do that--just get off the down ramp where they want. Nope. Once you’re on it, you’re SUPPOSED to go all the way down. But some people still try it and wind up getting up on the curb or otherwise making a mess. (Worse is when they realize their mistake and try to BACK up the ramp.)

Anyway, there was a woman on up ahead of me going to her car, and I noticed her talking to the person in the car, and then I got a little closer and saw that the person was OUT of her car. A very bad thing, because I could tell the car was probably blocking the exit and it’s a blind loop coming down and some people drive really fast on the helix because it’s like a roller coaster or something.

The other woman got in her car and left and I finally got up to the end of the aisle where I always park. (Saves me from having to remember a different parking place every day.) Anyway, a young lady on the phone, obviously distraught--a damsel in distress! I can do this!

“Do you need some help?”

See, told you I could!

Seems she’d gotten herself a flat tire. “Can it be pushed?”

“I TRIED BUT I COULDN’T! I’VE NEVER HAD A FLAT BEFORE--I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

Resisting the urge to ask her to quit typing in all caps, I noticed the back end of the car was indeed sticking out into the path of exit traffic, so I told her I’d push it out of the way for her. Because I’m so stinkin’ nice. “WHAT DO I DO!?”

“Put it in Neutral.”

“OKAY!”

“And release the emergency brake.”

“‘Kay!”

And URRRGGGGFFFFFFFF. Wow. This thing might be small but it’s apparently been glued to the pavement. After much heaving and ho-ing, we started moving, about which time Randy from the comm department came driving up in the department’s van. And she put on the brakes. It was like some kind of slo-mo Roadrunner cartoon with me being Wile E. Coyote, and accordianing myself into the back of the trunk lid. Thankfully, she let off again, and thankfully, Randy parked nearby and got out to assist.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“I’m a’pushing this heeeeeere hmphcar, Randy. She has aarrrrrr-a flat.”

Mr. Smartypants got on the other side and suddenly the car moved a LOT faster. “Dern--you’re STRONG. I’ll let you push it the rest of the way.” And so I quit. Because I’m Mr. Smartypants, too.

After being silly, we both pushed it the rest of the way over to a parking place.

“OOHHHHH, THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANK YOU!” the girl hopped out squealing, and ran back and gave me one of those side-to-side, I-just-won-something hugs. Which was quite awkward, I must say.

“Would you like us to change it?”

“Oh, no--I have a friend coming? And he’s going to change it for me? And like, my dad, OH, he’d be so mad if I drove on it and ruined the rim!? And you guys were so SWEET? I have NO idea what to do! I’ve never had a flat before, you know?”

Well no, but, okeedoke then. Randy walked around to look at the shredded bits of rubber on the rear passenger side, and being curious about the horrible damage, figured I’d look, too.

::sigh::

It was LOW. Going flat, but still with MORE than enough air to have driven the forty feet or so out of the ramp and into a parking spot. I walked on back to my car, and as I drove out of sight, I saw her dragging huge boxes full of junk out of the trunk of her car. I wonder if she was just too embarrassed by the junkiness of her trunkiness to let us in to get the spare tire and jack?

Who knows--ANYWAY--a few tips for anyone with a flat.

1) Move the car out of danger. It does not matter if you ruin the rim. Better that than to be rear-ended by a speeding car. In this case, the girl could have driven safely on down the ramp to the ground floor, but failing that and attempting the exit out the wrong way, at least go ahead and move COMPLETELY out of the way.

2) Learn to change a spare tire. She kept going on and on about not knowing what to do. Just remember, you ain’t Blanche DuBois, and you shouldn’t let yourself get into that situation to where you have to rely upon the kindness of strangers. Because some strangers aren’t avuncular and helpful.

3) Carry a can of spare-tire-in-a-can stuff. Sometimes you might be stuck where you can’t safely change a tire, and just need enough to get back on the road to a place where you can get it fixed or change it. So carry a couple of cans in the trunk along with your other emergency supplies.
4) Carry a cellphone. The one thing she did right was to have a way to contact help.

5) Finally, watch what you’re doing--be aware of where you are and what’s going on and don’t go the wrong way on ramps and stuff. Keep your cool and don’t get your underwear in a wad.

Tips for those HELPING others:

1) Don’t endanger yourself. I could have saved a lot of effort and potential for harm by just going around to the other side of the car BEFORE I started grunting and mooing, and just gotten her to drive it on into a parking spot.

2) If someone has already called for help, it’s probably best to hang around long enough for their help to arrive. I went ahead and left because I felt she was reasonably safe and I did have to get home and pick up the kids from Granny’s house, but it would have been a bit more considerate of me to hang around a while longer.

3) Carry a cellphone. The other person might have forgotten rule number 4 above.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at November 22, 2005 10:09 AM