October 10, 2005

I want to thank all of the little people who made this day so special for me...

I just got the following e-mail from Nate McCord:

I just want to be able to say I knew Terry before he was rich and famous and had one of his silliest Possumblog ideas scattered for the whole world to hear on the silver screen. I really hope you will remember us little folk of the AoW when you move the family to Hollywood to write more silly Possumblog stuff.

What the heck am I talking about? Why, Cornguins are famous! Except they used Bisquick instead of cornmeal, but hey, the penguins from the movie Madagascar are back in a short, showing just in front of Wallace and Grommet and the Case of the WereRabbit. It seems the penguins have a creed, "Don't swim in hot oil and Bisquick." No, not that creed, the other one! Oh, "Penguin's don't swim alone."

That's it! Twice the reference is made to not swimming in hot oil and Bisquick! If that's not a direct theft of your long running cornguin meme, I don't know what is! So you better get the attorney on retainer and set your sights on Hollywood!

For the uninitiated, Cornguins are Possumblog Kitchen's flavorful treat of cornbread-battered and deep fried Emperor penguin on a stick. Corguins are part of a large family of battered, fried, meats-on-a-stick such as the original Cornatee, featuring the rich buttery goodness of Florida manatee; Cornippotomus, with the bold flavor of hippopotamus; Cornutria, the South's favorite gopher on a stick; Cornorca, the only killer whale snack treat you'll ever eat; and our special Jumbo Cornephants, something you'll always remember since it has the tangy flavor of elephant. Each type is lovingly farm-farm raised at our facility in Greenville, Alabama, and after they have reached optimal tastiness, they are placed on a genuine round wooden stick and coated with real, home-made cornbread batter just like Grandma used to make (with the addition of tart and nutritious BHT to preserve freshness!) and then given a brisk dip in our hot-oil batch plant (only the finest plant and animal oils are used--NEVER petroleum products--we CARE about the environment!) and after being cooked to a pleasant nut-brown color, the items are flash frozen and delivered right to your grocer's freezer case. Just pull 'em out of the freezer, heat 'em up in the oven, microwave, or hot oil fryer, and serve 'em piping hot! MMMMmmm! That's tasty!

AND YES! MY IDEA HAS BEEN STOLEN! I DEMAND SATISFACTION! Sure, Bisquick isn't cornbread, but then again, our top secret plans for our new fall line of Biscatees, and Bisquins, and Biscoons were STILL TOP SECRET! Somehow, I suspect industrial espionage agents are at work, and there must be a purge of our Research and Development Department!

And yes, the entire Legal Department is on the way to California right now to demand satisfaction from the cartoon people.

Until this matter is resolved, we do invite you to be on the lookout for some brand-new choices in the frozen breakfast line!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at October 10, 2005 11:28 AM

In their defense, the movie is hilarious. I love the Madagascar penguins and their para-military exploits- saving Private from a nasty little dog, in this case.

But the writers did steal your intellectual property!

Posted by: Nate at October 10, 2005 11:46 AM


I wonder if they could fix it to where I can have a $3 bucket of popcorn for half price?

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at October 10, 2005 12:07 PM

Oh dear. How to explain, how to explain.

Terry, I'm sorry, but Shtick is not, in fact, a thievable item. Shtick always falls into the public domain upon creation, being open to use by political cartoonists, late night talk show hosts, and the annoying guy at the water cooler.

Had you developed a routine, an ouevre, or even a patter it would be actionable, but Shtick is sadly not a suable event. You'd better telegram your legal department and tell Ebenezer to turn the Hispano-Suiza around.

Posted by: skinnydan at October 10, 2005 12:19 PM

So--you're saying the popcorn thing is probably not gonna happen!?

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at October 10, 2005 12:23 PM

Maybe if you ask nicely...

Posted by: skinnydan at October 10, 2005 12:34 PM

Hmm. I might be better off trying to get the theaters to do away with corndogs and start selling Cornguins.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at October 10, 2005 01:10 PM

I would also like to point out that the trailer before hand for Over the Hedge has possums!

So what's your cut Terry?

Posted by: Sarah G. at October 10, 2005 01:14 PM

Apparently, yet another Hollywood bandwagon has passed me by. ::sniff::

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at October 10, 2005 01:16 PM