"Go Granny," indeed. Although I do regret to report she isn't looking at a bright red Super Stock Dodge with a 4 speed stick and a 426. Not that she wouldn't enjoy it.
Anyway, I was kinda surprised she was car-shopping. A couple of months back, it was house-hunting, and she hadn't said anything about her car. But it seems she's getting leery of taking it (it being a '97 Eldorado with 94,000 miles) on longer trips since she just had to replace the power steering pump and the serpentine belt and it cost her north of 600 bucks. Since she does go to Mobile to see my sister every so often, she does want something as reliable as possible, especially since her son is such a no-good bum who won't come to her aid if she got stuck out anywhere, so she's in the mind to trade now. She's liked her car, but once you get the urge, it's hard to keep one and be satisfied with it. Her favorite was still her '88 Lincoln Mark VII--actually, mine as well, partly because I borrowed it for mine and Reba's honeymoon when we drove up to Asheville. I hated she ever traded it, but, like I say, once you get that urge to trade, there's no keeping one.
Anyway, she thought she might like to go Lincoln shopping again. She's given up on trying to find a big two-door similar to what she has (what they used to call a "personal luxury coupe"), thus breaking an uninterrupted fifty-plus years of never owning a four-door. But my sister has mostly owned four-doors, so that kinda makes it not so bad for her. And she really likes my sister's newest car, which is an '01 Infiniti I30. The nearest thing in the Lincoln is the LS, which I think are awfully handsome. And they have a V8, which she was pretty adamant about having after her disastrous ownership experience with her V6-hamster-powered '86 Buick.
But.
Lincoln ownership requires that you buy them from the Lincoln dealership, which still sell cars the old-fashioned way with the unseen sales manager and multiple trips back and forth by the good-cop salesman trying his best to get you the "best deal." Ick.
I met her at the dealer closest to her house early Saturday morning and we began the process by meeting the young fellow who'd attached himself to her. Nice kid, looked about 12, tried his best to act like a grown up 23-year-old. His primary avenue to accomplish this was by continually calling my mother "Jean." Which is fine, since it IS her name, but you know, I have a hard time calling any older person by their first name, and in this setting is sounds very patronizing. But, he's just a little shaver--he'll learn, I suppose.
Looked around a bit, and the first warning flag was raised pretty quick. He'd shown my mom some of the LSes, including three they had left over from a previous year. 2003! to be exact. Having three nearly-three-year-old cars on your lot that you can't sell is NOT a good thing. We walked and looked some more and I told Mom that it was strange to have those older cars still unsold, and since she has no shyness to her, she asked the youngster why they still had them. Didn't miss a beat--"We ordered too many."
Oh, he's a slick one, even if he does look like he ought to be asking for the keys to go to the prom.
But, sorry, chief--we know it's not that you ordered too many. You didn't SELL ENOUGH! And apparently STILL can't sell enough. Maybe it's just me, but I think if I ran the joint, I would be willing to take a bit of a bath on those leftovers instead of having them clog the lot--sure looks bad for SOMEbody.
The biggest problem with shopping with my mother is it's VERY hard to get her to take these things for a test drive. I don't know why. But Junior and I finally got her to take one for a spin. Very swanky. I sat in the front with her and we put Spiff in the back, and she did a loop up the Interstate then back down Highway 31. Including a nice standing start from a traffic light where she let it wind out to the redline in 1st. I love my mother!
Part of my odd personality I get from her, you know. That's why she said during the middle of the drive, "Well, it's really nice, but I don't know if I can get the lawnmower in and out of that trunk or not." Skippy was somewhat puzzled by this question, and I reassured him, "Oh, she always has to ask that. She has a sideline business cutting other people's yards to make a little extra money."
"Oh. Oh, ummm. I--"
I laughed and told Spanky I was just joshing--"Aw, we're just messing with you. She actually has a whole crew of Mexicans that she uses for that, and they have their own truck and don't usually ever have to use the car."
He finally figured out that his new LS was full of BS. He tried to play along as well, but, he still has a way to go in the bovine scatology department before he makes full professor. Thankfully, being a car salesman is the perfect training ground.
Anyway, the car drove nice, but I did want Mama to look at something else from another manufacturer, just to be able to make a comparison. Which meant convincing her to sample a [insert sound of crashing ominous organ chord here] VEE SIX! EEEEEEKKKKK!
About which, more in just a little while.
Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 27, 2005 11:29 AMLike you, I've always liked the looks of the LS, but I've also noticed that they don't seem to sell too many, which makes me wonder if something's wrong with them. Worth checking into!
Posted by: skillzy at June 27, 2005 12:14 PMI think they are very nice cars, and reliable cars, although probably not quite as nice as what they'd like us to think. The competition is supposed to be the BMW 5 Series, which is doesn't quite hack, but it's still very very good. I think the other part is just that it's a much better car, and much more alien car, than Lincoln is used to selling.
No matter what, though, having leftovers on the lot seems suicidal.
In some ways, the LS seems similar to the (late, unlamented) Cadillac Catera that my sister had. Instead of the "Caddy that Zigs," it was the "Caddy that Drove Itself to the Shop Every Other Week."
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 27, 2005 12:38 PMPardon my broaching a delicate subject, but haven't YOU got a car that needs selling? I'm sure you could work out a good deal, given that she's family and all.
Posted by: skinnydan at June 27, 2005 01:16 PMI do have a car that needs selling, but it's 3 years older than hers, and has 80 thousand more miles, and is a van. And, yes, I did suggest that maybe she needed it. For some reason, she said no.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 27, 2005 01:21 PMThe Mark VIIs were much cuter than the VIIIs. Of course, the VIIs bore a strong family resemblance to my gorgeous '85 Cougar. She was a pretty, pretty car.
Posted by: Lenise at June 28, 2005 09:33 AMI really like the looks of the VIIs a whole lot, even today. That chunky chiseled look still wears very well, especially in silver and white. The VIIIs are okay, but their style doesn't seem to have worn as well over the years.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 28, 2005 09:46 AM