Possumblog

Not exactly ponies and ice cream.

But I suppose it'll have to do. Namely, this morning, there was a Toothbrush Story!

It's been quite a while since Catherine wanted a Toothbrush Story--I'm not sure if she has just outgrown them, or got tired of them, or has just been too grouchy to care, but this morning I asked her if she wanted one, and after a couple of noncommittal grunts, she finally shook her head yes.

Now, for those of you who are new to Possumblog, the Toothbrush Stories are tales told to my kids while they brush their teeth in the mornings in an attempt to keep them at it long enough to actually do some good. In general, the stories revolve around a cast of forest creatures, inevitably with one who has terribly poor dental hygiene, causing him or her to enlist the aid of other creatures in seeking out the aid of a dental care professional. Each story is told with great flourish and the appropriate animal voices and behaviors, and the kids get to supply names and minor plot points along the way.

This morning's story--ONCE UPON A TIME (which is how all good stories begin, and, in fact, how some bad ones start as well) there was a fat little possum, and his name was...

"Peter!" suggested Catherine as she slathered toothpaste on her brush. "Hey, just a dab."

PETER. Peter Possum was waddling along beside the road, and suddenly he had a thought in his tiny brain. "Ouch," he said to himself. (For those telling the story at home, Peter Possum has a very slow and dull voice.) "Mah tooth is ahurtin."

Now Catherine, as you are well aware, possums have 50 teeth, which is more teeth than any other land mammal, so they don't like it when one of them is hurting. "I bet it's a cavity." Probably so, Cat. Anyway, so Peter Possum keeps waddling along with a sore mouth until he comes upon his friend Timmy, who is a...

"GOPHER!" said Catherine.

A gopher? "YES, he's a gopher!"

SO, Timmy says to Peter, he says, "Ssssay, what'ssss amatter wiff YOU today, Peter?"

"Ohh, mah tooth's ahurtin."

"OH! Well, leth take a lookthee in there," (here one grabs the mouth of the child and looks inside while pretending to be a gopher.) "OHHHH! YOUF got a great big cavithy!"

"A whut?"

"Well, you thee, Peter, a cavithy is what you get when you don't bruth your teeth like you should, and a little hole geth in it, and you can lose ALL YOUR TEETH IN YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE HEAD! We need to get you to the denith!"

"Okaaaay."

Peter and Timmy waddled on to the dentist's office, and once inside they were met by Doctorrrr....

By this time, Jonathan had come into the bathroom and wanted to get involved, so he suggested using his Merrill figureine, which is not a real imaginary animal, but a fake imaginary Pokemon, which supposedly is something like a mouse. Catherine was concerned about this animal, though, "But, if the mouse is the dentist, and if a lion came into the office, he might eat the mouse."

Hard to argue with that. She ran off to her room, which is what she does when she has a better idea. She came back carrying one of her big Beanie Baby cats called Chip.

You want Chip to the be the dentist?

"YES! CHIP THE DENTIST WHO'S A CAT!"

ANYway, so Peter the Possum crawls up into the chair and Dr. Chip says, "Open wide," and looks down into his mouth and EEEK! "My goodness, Peter, you have a cavity!"

"I reckon so," said Peter.

Dr. Chip got out all kinds of implements and drills and got to work (insert sounds of high pitched drills and hammering here while waving a stuffed toy cat). "Okay, there you go, Peter. Peter? PETER! PETER POSSUM! Quit playing dead! Your tooth's fixed!" said Dr. Chip the Dentist Cat.

"Oh. Thanks, doc. That feels better."

SO, Peter and Timmy scampered off and went and played in the road.

The end.

Now, let's get going so I don't have to be late for work, kids!

Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 14, 2005 09:30 AM