June 06, 2005

Like the derned Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom or something.

Up early Sunday, dress, get wife up, get kids up, wander around shouting admonishments to get dressed so we can leave on time for once, go downstairs with the intent of fixing some breakfast. But, no one to eat it yet, so I decided to go see how my freshly cut grass looked.

Walked outside--::sniffffffffff::ahhhhhh:: Everything looked so nice. It was quiet and still and the birds were contendedly eating some seeds and WHOA MAMA! That's not really what you expect to see on the Lord's Day!

There, clutching the bottom of the window screen were two of the numerous little green lizards that swarm around the planter area. And it was INCREDIBLY apparent as to what they were doing, out there for everyone to see, because I could hear Barry White singing "Let's Get it On" on a tiny little stereo somewhere, and they were all wrapped up in a tangle of tails and hindquarters.

Randy little reptiles! HEY! GET A ROOM!

I left them to their assignations and scampered back into the house lest I be overcome with all sorts of the wrong ideas. The kids finally came down to eat, but rest assured I did not encourage them to take a morning nature walk. They need to learn about stuff like that on the school yard.

On to church, and in the SECOND episode of "Brushes with Wild Animals," as I made the turn to go out to the main road, there was a great huge honkin' rabbit hopping alongside the road. "LOOK! A RABBIT!" For a minute there I thought it might be Harvey, because no one else saw it. Then again, everyone else was reading or watching a DVD. Cat said, "AWwwww--I ALWAYS miss EVERYthing!"

Start looking out the window, kid.

On up Roper Road, and in a STUNNING discovery, what did I see beside the road, patiently waiting to cross, but a SNAPPING TURTLE! "LOOK! A SNAPPING TURTLE!"

Again--no one saw it but me. And no one really cared. ::sigh:: So much for that shot at replacing Marlin Perkins.

The rest of the morning was uneventful--class, worship, home for some lunch, read the paper, "Can you take me to go find balloons at the Dollar Store?" ::sigh::

"Let me finish the paper."

"Okay. When are you going to be finished?"

"When I get through."

"When will that be?"

"When I'm finished."

"Are you finished yet?"

"Did I say I was finished?"

"No, sir."

"Then I'm not finished."

I did finally get finished. Off to find balloons, with a stop off at the grocery store to pick up some cookies for VBS refreshments. Everyone brings some, but we hadn't take ours yet, and I didn't want to look like a cheapskate. Although I am.

Did that (and found balloons at Winn Dixie), and used the trip to the Dollar Store for 16 cheap rolls of adhesive tape and a surprise grab bag for Mommy.

Home, was immediately blasted by the high-pitched sqUEEEEEEEEL-PBTpbtpbt of balloons being alternately inflated and allowed to sputter empty. ::sigh::

Shoulda knowed better.

Off to evening worship, and as noted the kickoff to Vacation Bible School, which for those of you who don't know, is a thing churches do to try to get kids to come to church, with the offhand hope that they might get their parents to come.

This might have worked better in the past, but today's parents just see it as a convenient way to get rid of their kids for a few hours. ::sigh:: At least we make sure they learn something while they're with us. A lot of places just have play time for an hour, but we have all the cool Bible songs and stuff.

One of my favorites, if for no other reason than the rather macabre Addams Family-esque overtones to it is the 10 Plagues Song, sung to the tune of "Row, Row, Row, Your Boat:"

Blood, frogs, lice and flies,
Murrain on cows and
Boils on men,
Hail and fire and locusts and darkness,
and last the death of the firstborn child.

Whole lotta smitin' goin' on!

Evening worship, then a few mad moments spent trying to answer questions about the teaching schedule I had posted for the upcoming year and rearrange everthing to suit folks, THEN VBS, then class, then COOKIES, and then to home. Got there about ten o'clock. Maybe the rest of the week won't be quite so late.

Aww, who am I trying to kid?!

Anyway, that's a teensy, hit-the-high-points slice of what I did this weekend.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at June 6, 2005 03:25 PM
Comments

We have VBS starting in 3 weeks, but my Boy is going this week, too, at his grandparents' church. I haven't heard your song before, but it sounds like one he would like.

Posted by: Kathy at June 6, 2005 03:49 PM

Most of the rest are rather innocuous. (Although, I will say that "The Judges Song"--sung to the tune of 10 Little Indians--is rather infectious.)

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 6, 2005 04:00 PM

I think Justin sings the plagues to a different tune. But for some reason, my kids haven't learned it at all. We'll have to sing it at bedtime I guess.

Posted by: Jordana at June 6, 2005 04:20 PM

Nothing like a little righteous wrath before beddie-bye!

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 6, 2005 04:27 PM

That is one mighty catchy tune, Bub. Wow.

I agree with Jordana: it should move right up to the top of the bedtime Top Ten list.

Yikes.

Posted by: Grouchy Old Yorkie Lady at June 6, 2005 10:05 PM

And there is the first verse, which I omitted, which goes (again to "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"):

"Let my people go," Moses told Pharoah.
First he said no, then he said go
When his land knew woe.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 7, 2005 07:56 AM

We start VBS next month, although we have a meeting this Sunday night for the "leaders".

We are using some kind of Serengeti theme/package this year. Are you using something pre-packaged or are you going with something else? It's interesting to see how many churches use the same curriculum each summer.

Posted by: MarcV at June 7, 2005 08:02 AM

We're using a series of lessons on creation and the natural world this time around. We do something different every year, though.

Posted by: Terry Oglesby at June 7, 2005 08:14 AM