Possumblog

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon

CLOVIS, N.M. - A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.

Yeah. Me too.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff's Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

Immediate danger is right. But I'd say that they'd be prudent to douse any open flames a couple of hours after the kid finishes his burrito, or you'll have a conflagration to rival that of Rome burning.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

"There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door," said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

Yeah. Me too.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

"The kid was sitting there as I'm describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he's thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.'"

Dude, you ever have one of those dreams, where there's like, the whole school, and like, they're all talking about your burrito? Well, it was like that!

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

Exciting, ain't it!

"He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,'" Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

"We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.

I'd say he needs an A for that one. As long as there are not oddly plastic-headed corporate shills to go along with it.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.

"The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief," Morrissey said.

Again, this whole idea of relief better be matched with some sense of fire safety...

"Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It's Burrito Boy."

Me and Mama is so proud!

ANYway--that's all for today, I promise. All of you be careful with your oddly large burritos, 'kay?

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 04:53 PM