We're shorthanded of secretarial staff today, so I got short straw on minding the phone while our remaining Administrative Professional went to lunch. I spent the time staring at the lobby, reading two old issues of Time magazine, and perusing a guidebook about all the world's animals. And as for my lunch? Well, I'm sitting here eating it at my desk. Wouldn't want to miss an important call from a citizen, you know.
Anyway, it also gave me time to ponder the fact that the newest addition to the family will require a name. I've been thinking it needs to be something male, because it's not the least bit sleek or sexy in any conceivable feminine sense, unless your ideal of feminine sleek- and sexiness is East German female shot-putters. It obviously needs to be Teutonic (or, depending upon my lunch fare, Tootonic. Oh, I'm sorry--juvenile poot humor brought on by too much exposure to pooting juveniles.) Something direct and monosyllabic and krauty. Maybe something that relates to its mechanical nature. And to its dull, yet oddly compelling, slowness.
I'm think something along the lines of Karl. After Karl Benz, obviously...
...as well as the famously slow Karl Childers, who did have a savant-like ability with small engines. Mm-hm.
You know, I also just got to thinking that back when my new old car was built, there still was such a thing as East and West Germany.
Anyway, back to my food.
Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 01:23 PMMy vote's for Helmut or if you want to go feminine, Helga?
Posted by: El at April 29, 2005 01:55 PMWhat year is this car anyway?
Posted by: Jordana at April 29, 2005 02:09 PMMoneypit.
Doom-Cough.
Bavarian Beauty.
Das Never-start.
Gas Meister.
Der Stoppem-from-schpeedin.
Babe magnet.
[I'll vote for Doom-Cough.]
Posted by: MarcV at April 29, 2005 02:14 PMI don't know anyone I like who's named Helmut, but I always was fond of Helga!
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 02:15 PMIt's an '82, Jordana. And now's not the time to start trying to talk sense to me, Marc!
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 02:17 PMMarlene Dietrich
Posted by: Janis at April 29, 2005 02:27 PMOh, my--I'm not sure, Janis. I've heard she was rather fast.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 02:28 PMLola, then, from "The Blue Angel"
Posted by: Janis at April 29, 2005 02:38 PMGood thing you specified, or else someone might think of "Lola," by the Kinks.
That would probably be an association to avoid.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 02:39 PMHeinrich... you can call it Heinie for short
Posted by: DaveH at April 29, 2005 02:46 PMWell, duh, it should be named Das Hindenburg. Or maybe Bismarck.
Posted by: skillzy at April 29, 2005 02:46 PMThat thing is in great shape for an '82. If only the Swedes did as good a job on interiors as Germans, but my '88 Volvo wasn't in that good condition when I bought it in 1997. Its much, much worse now.
Posted by: Jordana at April 29, 2005 02:48 PMWait, wait! U-459!
Posted by: skillzy at April 29, 2005 02:49 PMHey--Sub Commander Skillzy might be on to something here--I think he might mean the U-110, in which case we could call it Enigma.
As for Hindenburg, maybe a flaming mass of metal isn't exactly what will inspire confidence among certain wifely passengers.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 02:57 PMI knew an Austrian named Helmut once who had the best ... oops, wrong forum.
Posted by: Janis at April 29, 2005 03:05 PMI christened her U-459 in honor of our lovely Interstate bypass, the gateway to Trussville. Plus, I couldn't remember the hull number of Das Boot.
Posted by: skillzy at April 29, 2005 03:05 PMBye
Posted by: MarcV at April 29, 2005 03:08 PMOHHhhhhh! Man, I'm dense sometimes.
(By the way, Das Boot was based on the story of the U-96.)
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 29, 2005 03:12 PMDoom Cough is darn funny, but there are all kinds of cool German names out there: Berndt, Wolfgang, Axel (!), Franz, Fritz (OK, I'm cheating off of this page:http://www.serve.com/shea/namelist.htm It's Friday night, and my brain cells checked out after Wolfgang.)
Posted by: Lenise at April 29, 2005 08:45 PMHow about UXB.
Posted by: Sarah G. at April 29, 2005 10:09 PMWell, we'll just have to save these all for a little while, I suppose.
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at April 30, 2005 07:42 PMThere's always that slim chance that some crazy person would think you named the car after the father of Marxism.
Yikes.
(And seeing as how I made that connection, hmmmm....)
Crazy person!? Say, would you be interested in entering a joint car venture....
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 2, 2005 08:40 AMHmm, keeping the Unterseeboot theme going, I vote for U-57.
That combines the Sub theme, the Heinz Ketchup, and the vehicle's top speed.
Posted by: skinnydan at May 2, 2005 10:07 AMSorry, Skinnydan (and all the rest of you)--you're going to have to start thinking of Swedish names...
Posted by: Terry Oglesby at May 2, 2005 01:03 PM