Possumblog

A rose by any other name…

What ho! A poetry reference on Possumblog!? Fear not, because it is only a way to introduce the Axis of Weevil Thursday Three, BABY NAME EDITION!

What with it being Spring and all, and all sorts of babies being a’borned, we have a round of questions here destined to make you all put in some serious thought on a very serious subject! The suggestion for the topic comes to us this week from Marc Velazquez, who starts us off with some news-grabbing celebrity-ness:

1. What names would you suggest for the offspring of --Denise Richards and Chuckie (the Wildman) Sheen; Britney Spears and that guy; and Prince Charles and Camilla, Dutchess of Cornwall, formerly styled Mrs. Andrew Parker-Bowles, née Camilla Shand?

2. The inspiration for the next set of names comes to us by way of resident peregrine-watcher Janis Gore from deep in the wilds of the Sportsman’s Paradise--to whit: what should be the names of the 3 (or 4) baby falcons born to San Francisco’s own George and Gracie? (You can click on the main website at UCSC and read all about them, or click here and see the most recent live image.)

3. Now, for the last one, I realize some of you have already made suggestions, but you’re just going to have to do it again. What is your suggestion for Dave Helton’s new baby horsey?

As we always state, anyone who wishes may play along, even if you’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name. Leave a link in the comments below (click the permalink if you want the comments to remember your name and e-mail so you won’t have to put it in a bunch) or just leave your suggestions in the comments if you want. Go forth and be nameful now!

Now then, for my answers:

#1-- I don’t have a good one for Denise and Charlie. On the other hand, I would suggest for Brit and “I need a bath” Kevin something artsy and high-tone. Taking a cue from the tale that Margaux Hemingway was named for the bottle of Chateau Margaux consumed by parents during the conception process, I suggest the upcoming young Federline be named “Colt 45.” Nice, because it’s like, a boy name OR a girl name! As for the last one, I doubt Chas and Cami would be in the market for such things, but should the need arise, I would suggest “Eww.”

#2--Bird names. Hmm. I’m not sure, but I think it’s somewhat pleasantly ironic that these efficient little killing machines are named for comedians. I would suggest keeping up the trend. Particular care should be given to shy away from naming them after foul-mouthed (heh--there’s a pun there) comedians like Lenny Bruce or Richard Pryor, and try to stick with good, old-fashioned wholesome-type folks. I mean, you could pretty much see Lenny Bruce killing a pigeon, whether he was a falcon or not. It’s just so obvious. But not Red Skelton. It’d be even funnier if they snuck up on pigeons by pretending to be Gertrude and Heathcliff the Seagulls.

#3--For the last one, I already suggested Dave name the baby horse “Nancy,” after Nancy “War Woman” Hart, who left quite an impression on backcountry Georgia in the 18th Century. Of course, you don’t usually hear of horses named Nancy, although “Nan” sounds kinda horsish. But, since I’ve already suggested that one, I guess another name might be “Allis.” (What with Dave liking tractors and all the way he does.)

SO, there you go.

Posted by Terry Oglesby at April 14, 2005 08:05 AM